His Wandering Eyes - Tips on How to Deal with the Situation

Does your partner stare at other women even when you are around? Read on for tips on how to deal with the situation

While being in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean that you can't look at members of the opposite sex, one needs to be subtle about it. There is a difference between casting a passing glance and downright staring disrespectfully. Men will always check out other women just as women will sneak a glance at other men. However, the difference is that while women are more discreet about it, men are more likely to gawk at other women.

Most women can deal with the roving male eye, but find it difficult to deal with the emotional implications of the fact that their lover is lusting after someone else. Depending on how emotionally involved you are with the man - it's going to hurt you. Fact is, most men have a roving eye and can't seem to help themselves. Here are some tips on how to deal with it

The intensity of the relationship

If it's a short-term relationship then you need not worry. Instead, enjoy the moment and have fun with your man. But if you and your lover are serious about each other, you need to discuss the issue at hand. Tell him it bothers you when he looks at other women and to cut it down a notch.

Ogling or leching

Try and notice if your man is just glancing at other women or more shamelessly leching at them. If he is the kind to stop on a street and turn around to get a better view of a woman, then you may have problems. All out leching is completely unacceptable. If your man continuously leches at your friends in front of you, get the hint and move on.

Make sure you don't over-react

If you are an extremely possessive girlfriend, it is possible that his roving eye is a figment of your imagination. Make sure you are not judging him too soon and letting the occasional glance at another woman turn into a big issue. Ask a close friend if she thinks your boyfriend's behaviour is disrespectful and if she has noticed anything similar. Getting a second opinion can help before you write off your man forever.

Don't fall for excuses

Tell your man that it makes you uncomfortable when he checks out other women and see how he reacts. If he gives a silly excuse like he has to look at other women to re-affirm that you're the one for him, don't buy into it. True love doesn't need constant reassurance. And if he has a constant roving eye, you may want to consider whether you want to be with such a man.

The last resort

If, after you have talked to your lover, he continues to ogle at women in front of you, try giving him a taste of his own medicine. Next time you're out together make eye contact with other men, pass comments on what they're wearing and laugh at their jokes till he gets the message.

He should ask you about it and soon realise his mistake. If not the first time, then definitely after two or three occasions, he will figure out exactly how you feel when he does the same. Just remember, if he doesn't cut down on his roving eye, make sure you cut him out of your life.

If you are dating a man with this bad habit, don't marry him! They don't change, I found out the hard way. :( - KM - 2007-04-11

It happens to me all the time. I always catch him looking around but he says he's not. I know better of course. I just hate it when he does it. I really hope he changes. - Myra - 2007-05-24