Do men believe in platonic relationships? |
Is a male-female friendship bound for a romantic end, no matter
what? Just how close can you get without physical attraction?
We all remember the line from When Harry Met Sally where Harry
said that men and women can never be friends because sex always
gets in the way - and it turned out to be the true for him. But
away from the movies and in the real world, how much truth is there
in what he said?
Fancying your Friend
Relationship counselors are of the view that men and women can
be friends, but warn them that they should be aware that at some
stage one of them will wonder what it would be like to be physically
intimate. This will be a passing thought which shouldn't affect
the friendship. And don't deny it, girls! There's nothing wrong
with fancying your friend - in just a friendly way, of course.
Flirty Fun
One way you can acknowledge your feelings without having to rush
into anything serious is simply to flirt with your friend - providing
they're flirty themselves. "But don't flirt with someone who's
shy - he may be holding back feelings of desire for you and you'll
be leading him on and just confusing him. If he's a great flirt,
then you can both play the game and have some fun," writes
Peta Heskell, in her book
The Flirt Coach's Secrets of Attraction
If it's fun you're after - flirting will do the trick. It's a great
way to flex your feminine muscle and feels wanted. If you're honest
and open about your intentions - making sure your mate doesn't mistake
your flirting for anything more. Make sure you understand each other's
boundaries and, if you think he might be crossing the line, remind
him that you're 'just flirting'.
Tread Carefully
If it's the girl who's crossing the line, then watch out! If you
flirt, use some "emotional intelligence" and adjust your
flirtometer according to the situation and the man in question.
The last thing you want to do is get yourself in an awkward situation
with a good friend - or worse still, get an earful from his partner!
Love Tests
At the end of the day, there's nothing wrong with flirting in moderation,
and between some people it's completely normal not to fancy each
other - flirting doesn't suit every relationship. But, if you're
hanging out with someone in the hope that one day they'll see the
light and realise you're "the one," the friendship will
suffer.
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