Fighting the Break-up Blues

Feeling hurt and angry after a breakup? There's a right way and a wrong way to get past the pain. We help you find the Dos of healing a break-up:

Do watch your vocabulary

We all have an internal conversation with ourselves. Since it shapes our outlook, be careful about the language you choose. Words like "nightmare," "terrible" and "horrible" are catastrophic terms. If you use them you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Spend more time focusing on what you can do.

Do define your real intentions

After you trying to move past the break-up, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? Define the emotional goal. You won't move on until you've truly accepted that the relationship is over.

Do allow yourself to own your feelings

You can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger, your sadness whatever emotions you may be experiencing. It's better to be angry with someone else than to blame yourself.

Do learn to trust again

Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest.

Here you can find more information on how to manage a break up

The EX Box

His ex-girlfriend still looms large over his memories. Instead of firefighting the past, plot your present

It's the Pandora's Box you wish you didn't chance upon. The Pandora in question here is the pretty damsel your man was dating, before you.

Trash the memory book

KEY: You and he go for coffee. But before the first sip, he becomes nostalgic, about how he held 'her' hand for the first time over coffee.

LOCK: "It hurt me a lot that every time we went out for a date, my boyfriend would reminisce about the good times he spent with his ex. I disliked being the 'understanding second girl' all the time," says Shireen Miller, 23.

To stop her self esteem from taking a nose drive, she made up an imaginary 'ex boyfriend'. The trips to nostalgia reached a dead end.

The friendly excuse

KEY: The most common dilemma 'we are still friends' is the most dreaded one. He still meets her, and your nerves go into a tizzy. Though it's not impossible to be friends, continued interactions with an ex can take a toll on your new blossoming romance.

LOCK: This is a trick one. You don't want to be the 'possessive insecure new woman' in his life. So, apply the three's great company' rule here. As Shalaka, who was facing this dilemma, offers, "I didn't want to be a control freak as that would only cause endless arguments. So I began accompanying my boyfriend whenever he would go to meet his ex." Though there was resentment to this initially, Shalaka explained to her guy that she love spending time with 'his' friends.

Climbing the family tree

KEY: Every time you interact with his family, you get subtle hints of their loyalty of his 'first love'. You wonder if the replacement surgery has gone wrong.

LOCK: This definitely dents your heart but patience is the keyword here. "I would dread meeting his family. They made me feel like a man-stealer," rues Andrea D'Souza, marketing executive.

Accomodate the commodity

KEY: Those sweet gifts that were passes between them are hard to ignore. You can't throw them, so either substitute or accept their presence.

LOCK: "Every time he would bring out the wallet she gifted him, I would cringe. So I got him another," says Sharon Porter, 25.

How to disguise a promiscuous past from a new man

E-commerce? Now, a site lets you 'buy' friends

Popularity was never easily measured, until the advent of social-networking sites. Now, prospective employers and others can gain some insights into an applicant's lifestyle and character by looking at a person's social-networking page, including the roster of friends. So what if a job applicant's networking page lacks friends?

Enter FakeYourSpace.com, a business founded by Brant Walker, which offered users of MySpace.com and similar sites a way to enhance their page with photographs and comments from hired "friends" - mainly attractive models - for 99 cents a month each.

FakeYourSpace was doing very well, attracting 50,000 hits a day, until a service that provided the photographs of the models, iStockPhoto.com, noticed that use and objected to it. Kelly Thompson, iStockPhoto's vice president for marketing, said its licensing agreement did not allow Web sites to post photos that might lead the average person to "think that the model endorses" the product, Web site or person in question.

IStockPhoto's network of 30,000 photographers police the Internet for such contractual infractions. When they noticed how FakeYourSpace was using the photos, they reported it to iStockPhoto, which asked Walker to stop using the photographs.

He complied, and FakeYourSpace, while still viewable online, will not be fully operational again until Thursday. Walker is searching for models through agency and online auditions to replace those that had been provided by istockPhoto, which was recently purchased by Getty Images. But is FakeYourSpace's business legal? The site certainly misrepresents people, but Walker, 26, said he thought that its intent was more altruistic than fraudulent.

A graduate of Platt College, a graphics and multimedia specialty school in San Diego, Walker runs the site from his San Diego home with two employees. He said the idea came to him when he noticed, while browsing MySpace pages, that "some people would have a lot of good looking friends, and others didn't." His idea, he said, was "to turn cyberlosers into social-networking magnets" by providing fictitious postings from attractive people. The postings are written by the client or by Walker and his employees, who base the messages on the client's requests. FakeYourSpace says it does not post any messages that are threatening, pornographic or illegal.

MySpace and other social-networking sites appear to have no rules prohibiting Walker's idea. MySpace, Friendster and facebook, did not respond to requests for comment. Walker's business is a variation on a growing phenomenon that Bruce Schneier, a blogger at InfoWorld.com, a Web site for the business Info World magazine, refers to as "the social network reputation hack."

Blue-eyed men prefer blue-eyed mates

It is virtually impossible for two blue-eyed people to have a brown-eyed baby, a fact that led some Norwegian researchers to wonder if such romantic pairings might have an evolutionary advantage.

Blue-eyed men and women carry genes for only blue eyes, meaning that two blue-eyed partners can only have blue-eyed children. But brown-eyed men and women can carry genes for both eye colours and can have either blue-eyed or brown-eyed children.

The researchers, whose study was published online earlier this month in the journal Behavioural Ecology and Sociobiology, theorised that for a blue-eyed man, finding a blue-eyed mate might have a Darwinian payoff: as a father, he could be more certain that a blue-eyed child was his own.

To test this idea, the researchers showed a group of 88 college students head shots of male and female models, their eye colours digitally manipulated to appear either blue or brown. The students were asked to rank the photos by attractiveness on a scale of one to five.

Blue-eyed men - or at least the male Norwegian students preferred blue-eyed women, rating them an average 3.29, compared with 2.79 for the brown-eyed women. Female students and brown-eyed men registered no preference by eye colour.

Dr Bruno Laeng, the study's lead author and a professor of psychology at the University of Tromso, said evolutionary theory very nicely explained the findings. "There is strong evolutionary pressure for a man not to invest his paternal resources in another man's child," he said.

Since most Norwegians - 55 % - have blue eyes, it is possible that the results would differ in other populations, the researchers acknowledged.

"A cultural explanation is not impossible," Dr Laeng said, "but it requires a lot of assumptions." What about men with green eyes? Dr Laeng's answer is guarded. "For practical reasons we focused at the beginning on the most straightforward comparison of brown versus blue," he said in an e-mail message.

However, one thing is for certain: To kind a good mate, you have to keep your eyes wide open, irrespective of the colour of their eyes.

You're right ladies... Men really do have sex on their mind

Women often accuse men of having sex on their mind. Now scientists have found that, most of the time, it's true. Men frequently mistake friendliness foe flirting when they talk to a woman. American researchers took 43 male university students and paired them off with female students aged between 18 and 22. Each pair was sent to a room and encouraged to have a five-minute chat about college life - believing it was part of a study on 'conversational smoothness'.

Participants later rated themselves and their partners on extroversion, agreeableness and physical attractiveness and judged sexual traits such as being a flirt, seductiveness and promiscuity. Psychologists from Elon University, North Carolina, found men were much more likely than women to infer a sexual chemistry.

Lead researcher Professor Maurice Levesque said all men are prone to oversexualise conversations with women. But those who see themselves as 'sexy' are more likely to perceive a sexual dynamic. Women are more likely to link sexiness with other attributes, like extroversion and friendliness. "If he found her to be physically attractive, he would tend to rate her as sexier," said Professor Levesque.

Marriage can be a chore for women

Single women who are desperate to shed their Bridge Jones status are warned today of a major pitfall of finding their man.

Research shows that getting married prompts a 50% increase in housework. When a woman is single, ironing, cleaning, cooking and other duties take about ten hours a week. But after they are married, or have simply moved in with a boyfriend, they typically do 15 hours of housework every week, according to a report in the latest edition of Economic Journal.

For men, the effect is positive. Before getting married or starting to cohabit, they do an average of seven hours' housework a week. Afterwards that drops to five hours. The research says that men are willing to take a back seat because they think women enjoy taking control of the house and all the duties. But women say they are force to spend much more time in the kitchen sink because they are frustrated by the piles of dirty dishes left by their partners.

For many couples, the arrival of children means the housework duties multiply, and many women tend to pick up the lion's share.

The research, by the economist Helene Couprie, is based on a sample of more than 12,000 men and women in the British household Panel Survey. A spokesman for the Economic Journal said it shows that women tend to have more of a 'taste' for housework because they do more than men, even when single.

It comes as the number of couples marrying in Britain has fallen to a record low, according to official figures published this week. There were 244,710 weddings in England and Wales in 2005, a fall of 10% on the previous year.

Worried about divorce? No!

A recent survey conducted by an organisation in the UK has pin pointed the main factors responsible for women over 40 having sleepless nights. The study showed that a woman's worry about her children's future and health conditions is the most common factor keeping her awake during the nights, followed by financial struggles and difficulties.

It was further found that anxiety over breat cancer and rising crime issues were the other two important reasons leading women to worry. Immigration, threat of terrorism, menopause and splitting with their respective partners were some of the other less important factors of their concern.

While talking about female's dwindling concern about their break-ups, researchers said that confidence and independence imply that splitting up with their partner ranks lower in their concerns with only one in 10 women citing this as a major worry.

"Women in fact worry more about breast cancer than breaking up with their husbands," the researchers said.

What women worry about

--------> Children's future 55%

--------> Health Risks 45%

--------> Financial difficulties 43%

--------> Breast cancer 36%

--------> Rising crime 27%

--------> Immigration 19%

--------> Threat of terrorism 12%

--------> Menopause 12%

--------> Splitting with partner 11%

How to help your children cope up with your divorce?

Five Places Every Woman Should Go

Griest shares some of her travel recommendations. Here are five of her favourite picks for women wanderers:

Author Stephanie Elizondo Griest hit the literary scene in 2004 with her critically acclaimed travel memoir, Around the Bloc: My Life in Moscow, Beijing, and Havana. Her book, 100 Places Every Woman Should Go, caters to women with itchy feet

FOR INSPIRATION AND ENLIGHTENMENT
Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

Goddesses reign supreme in Hawaii, and the most venerated is Pele, who presides over the volcanoes. Legend has it she secretly envies Poliahu, goddess of the snow, and the two quarrel often - especially over menfolk. Poliahu usually wins, causing Pele to erupt in fury, and Poliahu gets stuck cleaning the mess with her ice afterward. To see her in action, head to the Big Island. Linger till sunset to see why Hawaiians consider their homeland to be Earth's connecting point to the universe.

FOR INDULGENCE
Lingerie Shopping in Paris

Every woman should have at least one fabulous piece of lingerie tucked inside her drawers. To spice up your collection, fly to Paris, where they claim to have invented it. Herminie Cadolle went down in fashion history for by creating the world's first bra. Even today, her Parisian boutiques remain among the finest places to buy one. For her ready-to-wear collection, visit 4 rue Cambon.

FOR PURIFICATION AND BEAUTIFICATION
The Banyas of Moscow And St Petersburg

The Russian banya is a Slavic Eden: a steamy, womb-like place that will tack years onto your life. According to folkfore, these baths are haunted by mischievous spirits that bewitch clothing worn inside, so strip down all the way. (Most of the baths are gender-segregated.) Rinse off in the shower and enter the steam room. Repeat as many times as possible: your skin will glow afterward.

TO CELEBRATE STRUGGLE AND RENEWAL
Arts and Voodoo Festivals in Benin

Travelling in West Africa is empowering for women - precisely because it is challenging. Visit the mayor's office and ask for the local women's group. Also explore the world of voodoo, a belief that natural forces like rain and wind have spiritual forces behind them. On national Voodoo Day - January 10 - partake in dancing fuelled by copious amounts of sodabe (a local palm liquor) at the vibrant festivals in Ouidah. Look out for the Mami Wata worshipers, who dress in all white. Mostly women, they are considered very powerful and are often feared.

FOR WOMANLY AFFIRMATION
Belly Dancing in San Francisco, New York

San Francisco is home to Fat Chance Belly Dance, a renowned tribal dance troupe. Take a class at their studio at 670 South Van Ness Avenue. In New York City, look up legendary teacher Morocco of the Casbah Dance Experience, or Sarah Johansson Locke of Alchemy Performance.

Here's How to Plan a Cheap and Romantic Weekend Getaway

Men Too Are Moved By Mushy Moves

Mushy romance flicks and tear jerkers are not just for women, as new research has revealed that men also like romantic movies, besides their usual potboilers and action flicks. According to research by Richard Harris, professor of psychology at Kansas State University, guys like romantic movies, too.

"Everyone thinks women like romantic movies and they drag guys along to them," he said. "What was significant was that the guys also liked the movies, and the choice to view a romantic movie was usually made together as a couple." Using a 7-point scale, Harris asked men and women to rate how much they liked a romantic movie they had just watched. He also asked them to rate how much they believed their date enjoyed the movie and how much they think men and women in general like romantic movies.

Although in the study both men and women generalised that men as a group wouldn't like a romantic movie, when men rated the romantic flick they had just seen, they gave it a 4.8 on Harris' scale. When women were asked to rate how much their dates liked the movie, they gave the same 4.8 rating. "We found that women rated how much they liked the movie at about 6 on the 7-point scale," Harris said. "However, we also found that men liked the movies as well. They rated the movie at about 4.8, higher than most people would have guessed."

Harris that although men and women thought the specific man watching the movie enjoyed it, both still fell back on stereotypes when they were asked about men as a group. "When we asked both men and women how men in general would like the movie, both said that men would not like the movie, in spite of what they had just said about themselves or their dates," Harris said.

The results of the study could be something moviemakers take into consideration when making a romantic movie, Harris said. "Movie studios should recognise the fact that there is a moderate interest among men and add something to romantic movies that appeals to men," he said. "There are a lot of men who go to these romantic movies and enjoy them. I wouldn't write off the male audience just because it is a romantic film. I would suggest marketing to them."

The study also showed that men and women used stereotypes when it came to guessing which scene their date would choose to play in the film. The most commonly selected scene was the romantic scene, which, according to Harris, wasn't unexpected because romance was the one thing that all the movies had in common.

However, most women selected a romantic scene for themselves and their date, but they guessed that their date would pick a sex scene, Harris said. While many men did select a sex scene, the number was not nearly as high as what the women had predicted it would be.

Harris said these results are because both men and women were using stereotypes to guess what their date would choose. "The biggest difference was that the men were right with the stereotype they used and the women weren't," he said. Harris' study was a follow-up to earlier research he did involving the viewing of violent films on dates, examining a genre that was considered to be mostly guy films.

Harris said that's why he wanted to look at romantic films, which were considered to be mostly women's films.

TOP FIVE MUSHY MOVIES ACCORDING TO MEN

You've Got Mail
Salaam Namaste
Jerry Maguire
The Break Up
The Holiday

Wedding Flowers: Blooms For Your Big Day

Weddings are special occasions, and they're made all the more special by the buzz and flurry of the preparation that surrounds them. It's a day when you look your best, and with theme decoration increasingly becoming the order of the day, flowers are becoming an essential part of the decor. There are different arrangements and flowers you can use to do up your wedding venue, and add a special touch of beauty thet will make your day memorable. The flowers are available in all kinds of varieties and in every price range. Flowers in white and soft pastel colours are perfect for a subdued, elegant look. But for extravagant, colourful affairs, bright and big dramatic arrangements add to the rich settings.

Big flowers like hydrangeas and the classic wide-open roses would do well for that purpose. Orchids are easily available in colours like yellow, pink, deep blues, mauve, and even lime green. They look great if placed in low cut vases that are placed as centre pieces because they can be cut low to make table decorations just the right height.

Roses and tulips are all time favourites that can be used for decorations that require large flowers. They're familiar and elegant, and go well with any sort of theme. Adding a touch of green to the decoration can make all the difference to the venue. It complements flowers just as beautifully as it does in a bouquet, and adds vibrancy to the room.

To add the fragrance of fresh flowers, gardenias and stargazer lilies are the perfect choices as they have a sweet smell that spreads easily. Another way to do this is by placing flower petals in shallow bowls of water. It not just looks elegant but also spreads fragrance fast around the room. So use the flower power to make your day special.




Create Your Own Wedding Flowers

Learn How to Create Your Own Stunning Wedding Flower Bouquets and Arrangements – Without Paying Expensive Florist Fees

Smell of a man's armpit acts as a turn-on

Male Sweat Contains A Compound Capable of Lightening Mood and Heightening Sexual Arousal

Expensive aftershave, hair gel, and deodorant are all part of the armoury of the modern-day man. But, when it comes to getting the girl, he might be better to let his natural scent shine though.

Research shows that women can be turned on by just a few sniffs of a man's sweaty armpits.

The scientists showed that male sweat contains a compound capable of lightening a woman's mood and heightening her sexual arousal. Androstadienone (CORR), a musky-smelling chemical, also speeds up blood pressure, heart rate and breathing and raises levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

The researchers said their work provided the first direct evidence that humans, like rats, moths and butterflies, give off pheromones - scents that affect the body of the opposite sex.

Claire Wyart, of the University of California, said: "This is the first time anyone has demonstrated a change in women's hormonal levels is induced by sniffing an identified compound of male sweat.

"This male chemical signal, androstadienone, does cause hormonal as well as physiological and psychological changes in women."

The study published in the Journal of Neuroscience is, however, not the first to show that male sweat holds a certain appeal for the opposite sex.

A study carried out at the University of Northumbria showed that a whiff of sweat has the ability to turn a frog into a prince.

Experts asked a group of female students to judge the attractiveness of men shown in photos. A second group of women were set the same task, but this time, unknown to them, a cloth soaked in male sweat was hidden nearby.

The women under the influence of the pheromones - released by glands including those under our arms - rated all the men as being more attractive.

Those judged as being the least attractive by the first group of women showed the biggest jump in sex appeal, with the women rating them as being almost appealing as the best-looking men. The only women to resist the effect of sweat were those taking the contraceptive pill.

It is thought the hormones in the Pill stop women from responding as strongly to natural laws of attraction. Sweat also plays another important role in the mating game, with scientists believing we seek out partners whose body odour is different to our own.

Research has shown our sweat contains information about our immune system. From sniffing someone's sweat, we subconsciously glean information about their strengths and weakness in fighting off illness and infection. The more different someone's sweat is to yours, the more pleasant you find them - and their sweat.

It is thought the phenomenon evolved to prevent us unintentionally mating with relatives - or others who are genetically similar to us.

Curve appeal: Way to a man's heart is through a tiny waist

A recent US study has confirmed what men have instinctively known for centuries - an hourglass figure complete with a tiny waist and curvaceous hips is seriously sexy.

According to the University of Texas, the formula for a perfect figure - and one guaranteed to turn the heads of the opposite sex - involves dividing your waist by your hip measurement (this needs to include your bottom).

Anything below 0.8 is considered a healthy result, but the smaller your waist to hip ratio WHR), the more sexually alluring your figure.

For example, the classic pin-up dimensions of 36-24-36 gives a WHR of 0.66. So, science may have come up with a solution for sure-fire sex appeal, but why is a small WHR so alluring to men? "It's all down to the male's unconscious assessment of a female's sexual and reproductive capabilities - it's a primeval response," says study author, Professor Devendra Singh.

The classic hourglass figure tells a man three important things at a glance: first, the woman is not already pregnant; second, a narrow waist shows that she is of reproductive age; and third, she is healthy and free from disease:" Hardly the most romantic of reasons, but a tiny waist, it seems, is every woman's secret weapon in the seduction stakes and one that fashion has helped us maximise for several centuries.

The corset dates back 3,000 years and has been worn to devastating effect by femme fatales ranging from showgirls to superstars.

Today, minuscule midriffs are championed by Dita Von Teese (hers measures just 161/2 in in a corset) and the Pussycat Dolls, and make a regular appearance on the red carpet and the catwalk.

In a world of emaciated models and celebrities, this look champions femininity and sex appeal and is a million miles away from La La Land's size zeros. Posh may have a 23in waist, but she's no poster girl for this trend, proving skeletal can never be mistaken for sexy.

As the adage goes, men do like a little something to grab hold of, and thanks to Lifestyle's six-step plan, you can create killer curves in all the right places.

Increase the amount of fresh food, fruit and vegetables you eat to boost your fibre intake. Fibre helps keep your digestive system working efficiently, cleaning the digestive wall to ensure food is quickly and effectively digested. Food that stays undigested in your system longer than 24 hours will release gases that leave you looking permanently bloated.

Desk-bound jobs, weak muscles and ageing all contribute to poor posture that can leave your figure looking squat and dumpy, especially around your middle. Good underpinnings can make all the difference to your torso.

For women, even clothes beat sex

They Can Abstain For Up To 15 Months For A Closet Full Of New Apparel, Finds US Survey

Last week we carried a UK survey that revealed how women prefer mobiles to sex. Now, a new US survey says that women also rate clothes over sex. According to the survey, the choice between sex and a new closet full of clothes for women is simple - they go for the apparel.

Women on average say they would be willing to give up sex for 15 months for a closet full of new apparel, with 2% ready to abstain from sex for three years in exchange for new duds, according to a new survey of about 1000 women in 10 US cities.

Sixty-one per cent of women polled said it would be worse to lose their favourite article of clothing than give up sex for a month.

"Some people say clothes make the man, but the right clothes can even replace him," fashion designer, stylist and TV personality Carson Kressley from the reality TV show 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' said in a statement accompanying the poll.

The study also suggested that clothes often wear better than relationships.

The average woman between 18 and 54 yeards of age has hung on to her favourite article of clothing for 12 and a half years, a year longer than she's hels on to her longest relationship.

Almost three-quarters of respondents, or 70% also said they believed in love at first sight when it came to finding the perfect article of clothing, while only 54% of women were as confident in spotting the right man.

Nearly half of the women, or 48%, taking part in the survey by consumer products giant Unilever said her favourite article of clothing was more reliable than their man in giving them confidence and making them feel sexy.

Because clothing and adornment have such frequent links with sexual display, humans may develop clothing fetishes.

They may strongly prefer to have sexual relations with other humans wearing clothing and accessories they consider arousing or sexy. In Western culture, such fetishes may include extremely high heels, lace, leather, or military clothing. The men of Heian Japan lusted after women with floor-sweeping hair and layers of silk robes.

Knot Now, Darling

In an interesting role reversal of sorts, while men are wooing women to settle down and begin a family, women want to stall those decisions to pursue their career dreams...

The evolution of the metrosexual male has proved to be quite a gender bender. The role reversal has career oriented women wondering why men are so much more keen to settle down and begin a family than them.

Lisa Rai, who works in a telecom company, feels it comes as part of the changing equations between men and women where men are as comfortable in the kitchen or doing the laundry as they are changing a flat tyre. But that's not to say she's okay with her guy repeatedly asking her to walk down the aisle with him. "I know I have to settle down and have a family, but I don't want to take any decision in haste.

I've set my priorities and I can't compromise my career at any cost. Just like men can't afford to put their careers at stake for marriage, similarly I believe even women shouldn't be forced to find a middle ground between work and home," she says adding, "I didn't like being pestered by my boyfriend for marriage. He's doing very well in his career, but my professional life has just gained pace. And I had to explain that to him."

Carolyn Muffins, manager in a prominent private bank, couldn't agree more and would like to concentrate on her career before having children, like her husband wants to. "I've been married for a year and I am in no hurry to have kids right now. I respect my husband's feelings, but I think having kids is no joke.

In coming years there would be a drastic change in the standards of living. And you ought to be monetarily sound so that you as well as your family can afford a comfortable living," she says.

But how happy are men with this new avatar of working women where work takes priority over family? For Robert Anderson at least, a marketing executive in an insurance company, it's not the best thing to happen: his girlfriend who is working in a finance company has refused to take the plunge right now, for fear of marriage hampering her career prospects. "She is earning quite well and doesn't want to settle down yet because she doesn't want her personal commitments to prevent her from devoting her 100 per cent to work," he adds.

Interestingly, it's the men now who are mouthing words that you would once have heard from women. Like bank exec Brian James puts it, "I don't object to my wife's career plans, but I also think there's a right time for everything.

And I don't think it is right to weigh career and kids in the same balance." Didn't we tell you, this is quite a gender bender?!

Beauty and Love

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but other people's opinions matter too when it comes to the attraction between men and women. Women are more attracted to a man, if other women like him too. "We tend to think about things like attraction as reflecting a private decision or a personal choice but our work show that people's attractiveness judgements can be influenced in pronounced ways by what other people appear to think of those individuals," said research team leader Dr Ben Jones, a professor at the University of Abadeen.

The impact of the opinions of others was tested by giving women a test in which they had to choose the more attractive pairs of male faces and to rate how much more handsome they found them compared with the others. They were then shown a short video in which the same faces were displayed. But each face was being looked at by a woman smiling or one showing a bored or neutral expression.

"After watching the video, we repeated the intial test. We found that the slideshow caused women to become more attracted to the men who were being smiled at by other women. The test had the opposite effect on men however, possibly because of the competition factor amongst males. When men were asked to look at the same male faces, those who got the approving female glances became less appealing. This shows that people are using cues to the attitudes of others towards individuals to shape their own attractiveness judgements of those individuals," said research team leader.

The findings are similar to mate choice copying seen in other species and are thought to be the first time it has been shown in humans. Positive female interest in the faces increased the women's preference for the males but it had the opposite effect on male judgements.

"The positive reaction conveys a sense of approval for women but the negative male reaction could reflect jealousy or competition. If I go to a bar with a celebrity, for example, chances are I am not going to get much interest from the women because the celebrity will hog all the attention. But I will like it," said Prof Jones.

Age No Bar For Sex

If you're in your late 40s and worrying about your sex life, please fret not. For, experts say that at 40, you have the most rollicking time of your life as far as your sex life is concerned.

Sex Is No Longer Taboo

With increasing age, people look at sex scornfully and believe that it is fine only in the early years. But the statement no longer holds truth. There are a lot of men and women who think different. Take the case of Nathalie. "When I was newly married, I was extremely coy and hesitant to demand. I was immature and not in a position to handle my sex life well. Besides, I found sex uninteresting and a mere act of drudgery. But now, being relaxed and with more time on hand, sex has become quite interesting and the best way to relieve stress," she says.

Add Zing to your Life

With advancing age, a lot of hormonal changes take place in the body. Besides, with menopause, a woman does not need to bother about unplanned pregnancy. Thus, sex becomes more interesting and experimental. In a study conducted on a section of seniors citizens of US, a majority of them insisted that their sex life improved after 40. Mary, a senior associate with a leading advertising agency confirms the statement. "I spent my entire life juggling between work, house and children. Now that my kids have become independent, I want to make up for all the lost time." She adds, "After 40, I fell in love with my husband all over again. I realise that our bond has greatly strengthened with the passage of time. We have become each others' true soul-mates now." So friends, take the hint. Shed your inhibitions and enjoy sex.

Wedding Industry BOOMS

At Alliance & Leicester, Britain, a survey has revealed that fathers fretting about footing the bill for their daughter's dream wedding, are not found. The tradition has all but disappeared.

According to the study, 80 per cent of the couples pay for their own weddings, taking the pressure off their parents. And with the average white wedding costing £ 17,000 from engagement ring to honeymoon, the father of the bride has had a lucky escape.

The father would traditionally have expected to take on a lot of money of the debt. But today, just three per cent of fathers cover the cost of the wedding and 17 per cent of couples borrow to pay for their big day, sometimes on credit cards. Total wedding spending during 2006 in Britain will reach £ 23 billion. Given that four in 10 will end in heartbreak and divorce, at least £ 9.2 billion of this figure appears to represent the triumph of romance over reality.

But Britishers are obviously a nation of romantics at heart and six in 10 believe in love at first sight, while as many as a million would propose immediately if they found the one.

The reason, more couples are paying for their own marriages is that they are pushing back their wedding day until they are older.

A recent study has found that more than 50 per cent of brides were over 30. The average age at which women marry, has risen by more than three years in less than a decade.

The rising age profile means engaged couples are more likely to be financially independent, living together in their own home. Consequently, they are far more likely to take over the running and financing of their big day.

However, the £ 17,000 wedding price tag is way above the figure, many planning to marry expect. Many believe that average figure would be just £ 6,650, and the average engagement lasts nine months.

"It is encouraging to see that many of us are still old romantics who believe in love at first sight. But as the cost of a modern wedding continues to rise, it is understandable that romance can take a back seat while we try to save towards the cost of the wedding. Weddings need very careful planning.

By looking around to get the best value from your borrowing - like you would for the wedding flowers or the photographer - you can make huge savings," research team leader Mr Claire Alvey of Alliance & Leicester told reporters.

"The key to a successful wedding ceremony is planning, planning and then more planning. Shop around, talk to all your suppliers and get a realistic idea of costs every aspect of your day - from the flowers to the cake and the photographer," Ms Carolf Richardson, a wedding planner in the UK, told reporters.

Master Wedding Planning Guide

Master Wedding Planning Guide is the easiest to follow system for learning how to plan a wedding available. It is jam-packed with information, including over 150 cost saving tips covering every aspect of your wedding, the questions that you must ask to make sure that you get what YOU want and avoid getting ripped off, timelines, budgets, seating plans, bride/groom photos and much more.

Vague emoticons in e-mails ruin relationships

It looks so innocuous. A harmless little "x", nestling at the end of an e-mail. But senders beware: while the electronic equivalent of a kiss may be innocently meant, to the recipient it could be perceived as x-rated.

According to a report, we are hopeless at interpreting e-mails - and it's having an effect on our relationships. The biggest study of its kind, to be published in the Academy Of Management Review later this month, says that of the 100 billion e-mails sent every day, millions may be misinterpreted due to their lack of facial cues, body language and emotional feedback, prompting arguments, misunderstandings and confusion.

Kristin Byron of Syracuse University in New York, who led the study, says: "People make the assumption e-mails are very clear, but that is not the case. There are a lot of misunderstandings." While you may think sending kisses to a friend's partner at the end of a chat is affectionate, or making a mildly suggestive remark to a colleague is acceptable, to the person on the receiving end it can be confusing or offensive.

"The problem with any sort of sexual comment or advance on e-mail is that it can sound far too aggressive," says Paddy O'Donnell, head of department of psychology at the University of Glasgow. "There can be a degree of ambiguity in an e-mail that you wouldn't get communicating face to face." Part of the problem appears to be that while we can easily communicate our emotions in person using tone of voice, facial expressions and so on, when it comes to e-mail that can be incredibly hard to do. Even emoticons, or smileys symbols expressing emotion created to help eradicate the problem - come in for criticism. Byron says: "These are ambiguous in e-mail communication and may be misinterpreted."

Says O'Donnell: "Humans evolved to communicate face to face. If you take all those elements of communication away and leave what is essentially an internal monologue, which they will interpret in their own voice, then it's unsurprising that what might make sense to the person writing the e-mail is gobbledegook to those who receive it."

Simon Fanshawe, manners expert and author of The Done Thing, believeS e-mails have become too informal. "Grammar and spelling go out the window. People are rude over e-mail." But before you begin starting e-mails to your father-in-law with the words "Dear sir", it's worth remembering that misinterpreting signals is hardly a new phenomenon. Ever since Jane Austen's Emma tried to set her friend Harriet up with an unobliging Mr Elton, reading the wrong signals - particularly in sexual situations - has been common.

Known by psychologists as egocentrism, it puts forward the theory that some people have difficulty in detaching themselves from their own perspective, and therefore understanding other points of view.

Spouse grouse: Men are actually programmed to disobey wives

Whether it has something to do with sadistic pleasure is unknnown but scientists have suggested that a man's failure to disobey his wife is related to a sub-conscious tendency to resist doing anything she wants.

Men and women are sure to argue about this one. In fact, the man and woman who led the study disagree on the meaning of the results, reports LiveScience. Psychologists have long known about "reactance", the tendency to do the exact opposite of what's requested by a loved one or boss. The new study aimed to find out whether the phenomenon might occur at a subconscious level.

Participants were asked to name a significant person they perceived as controlling their lives, and another who just wanted them to have fun. Then they were asked to discern words from jumbled letters on a computer screen while the names of the people they had mentioned were flashed subliminally.

The names were flashed too quickly to be registered consciously. Subjects performed better when exposed to the name of the person who wanted them to have fun than when exposed to the controlling individual's name. "Our participants were not even aware that they had been exposed to someone else's name, yet that nonconscious exposure was enough to cause them to act in defiance of what their significant other would want them to do," said Gavan Fitzsimons, a professor of marketing and psychology at Duke University.

Further testing found that study participants who were more reactant responded more strongly to the subliminal cues and had a wider perfomance gap.

"People with a tendency towards reactance may nonconsciously and quite unintentionally act in a counterproductive manner simply because they are trying to resist someone else's encroachment on their freedom," said Tanys Chartrand's own experiences were the impetus for this study. "My husband, while very charming in many ways, has an annoying tendency of doing exactly the opposite of what I would like him to do in many situations," she said.

Cracking an age-old puzzle: Why women settle for mediocre sex

Women are mysterious and so are their ways, but researchers have unveiled one more secret of the fair sex. Though women have high expectations for nearly every area of their lives, when it comes to sex, they settle for less.

And most women keep their dissatisfaction with sex a secret, leaving their partners in the dark, said Anita Clayton, a psychiatrist who focusses on women's sexuality at the University of Virginia Health System, reports LiveScience. "Whereas men, if they have trouble with sex, it's a crisis. They run to the doctor and say, 'I need something for this.' Women don't do that. They just sort of stuff it down and push it further down on the list," Clayton said.

With surveys and years of clinical experience, Clayton has compiled a vast collection of data on women's sex lives. Often, she said, a female patient would visit her with issues like marital problems or depression, and only when directly asked about sex, the patient would divulge dissatisfaction.

Clayton attributes several factors to a woman's lack of sexual satisfaction, including: Sex gets shoved to the bottom of the "to do" list for women. And when they do have sex it becomes just another task. Women are not getting their emotional needs met during sex. An orgasm might not be the point.

Many women strive for unrealistic physical perfection seen in media and are unhappy with some aspect of their bodies. Women don't ask for what they want in bed, fearing their partner will be hurt or leave them. Medications such as antidepressants can reduce a woman's libido and ability to reach orgasm.

Some women did complain about difficulty reaching orgasm or lack of sexual desire, but frequently they just felt an overall letdown regarding sex, Clayton said. Not knowing why they feel so deflated after sex, women assume it's their fault or they just don't bring up the topic to their partner. Plus, Clayton said women don't have a clear awareness of their sexual desires because of social, cultural or religious beliefs that label such female wants as shameful.

Insecurity may impact your immune system

Fear Of Being Abandoned By Loved Ones Suppresses Your 'Natural Killer' Immune System Cells: Research

Rome: Feeling insecure in close relationships may take a toll on the immune system, preliminary Italian research suggests. A team led by Angelo Picardi from the Italian National Institute of Health in Rome reports its findings in Psychosomatic Medicine.

In a study of 61 healthy women the researchers found that those who had difficulty establishing close, trusting relationships showed signs of weaker immune function. Specifically, lab experiments showed that the women's "natural killer" immune system cells were less lethal compared with those from other study participants.

Whether this means they're more susceptible to disease is unknown, and for now the answer to that question is a "very prudent maybe", says Picardi. The findings are in line with research showing that chronic stress can impair immunity, and the extent of the impact may depend on how an individual perceives and responds to stress.

In short, personality traits may affect immune function.

The researchers looked at the trait known as "attachment insecurity," characterised by difficulty trusting and depending on others, feeling uncomfortable with emotional intimacy or worrying about being abandoned by loved ones. A person's "attachment style" forms in childhood, based on a child's relationship with his or her parents, says Picardi. And it affects and is further shaped by romantic relationships later in life. So attachment style can be seen as a fairly stable trait that affects a person's response to stressful events.

Picardi says attachment insecurity affects people's ability to regulate emotions, including how they perceive and deal with stress - which may affect the body's physiological response to stress.

For their study, Picardi and team recruited a random sample of female nurses, who were younger than 60 years old, had no chronic illnesses and no history of major psychiatric disorders. The researchers measured the women's attachment style using standard questionnaires and collected blood samples to study the function of their immune system cells.

The study found, women with greater attachment insecurity had lower activity in their natural killer cells, key defenders against illness.

Picardi noted that in other research, his team found associations between insecurity and certain skin diseases related to immune dysfunction. These include plaque psoriasis, a condition where scaly patches form on the skin, and alopecia areata, an autoimmune disorder that causes hair loss.

Overcome your relationship insecurities with hypnosis!

Make Her Feel Special this Valentine Day

This valentine's day just sweep your beloved off her feet. It's not that difficult to do as you might think. All you need is a little imagination.... and you are all set for the day

Just call her to say you love her

If you decide to put this Stevie Wonder hit to reality, your love life will surely come up trumps. Sending her a witty e-mail along with it will definitely liven up her day.

Small bundles of love

If you wish to charm her with a gift, but don't want to be bizzare enough to send flaming roses at her workplace, then try love coupons. It will be discreet enough and colleagues will be left wondering what sent her into a day dream state.

Note thy passion

Try leaving passionate notes at places where she is bound to notice them, the bathroom mirror for instance and simply watch her cheeks aglow with love.

Be a man

Err... We were talking about taking the initiative which women totally love. Go ahead and plan a romantic dinner for two in the evening right from the scratch. Arranging a cab to pitch her from work and bringing her to the restaurant, where you will be waiting with a bottle of wine and roses definitely beats anything else. Rest assured, this beautiful evening will surely conclude on an amorous note.

Surprise her

Not knowing what comes next, always keep the spark alive in a relationship. So show some spontaneity and go unannounced at her workplace for lunch. Just make sure she isn't meeting deadlines for the evening and actually has time to share your platter. She'll love you for it.

Flowers and chocolates

Yes, this sounds corny and cliched, but you bet this will make your woman's eyes light and pleasure, and she'll absolutely dote on you for making this super-corny move, even better if you accompany it with a tiny card. And you can only imagine what will be in store for you next.

Creative Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day

Wondering how to make your Valentine's Day date a memorable one, something that etches in your memory forever? Well, here are some interesting ideas to make that romantic evening oh-so-special...

1) Take a leaf out of 'Lady and the tramp' and take your beloved out for a classic grand dinner, with everything perfect to the 'T', candlelight, gentle music in the background (Better still, a live piano) and lip-smacking food, opt for something French or Italian.

2) Grab a cookbook, whip up your favourite ingredients and dish out a yummy meal for yourself and your love. Regardless of how it tastes, it will certainly work wonders.

3) If you consider cooking too much of a hassle, then simply skip it. Get two glasses, a bottle of wine and let the sparks fly, not to mention a blanket spread before the fire.

4) Take a quiet walk, preferably holding hands in a secluded place, a deserted beach or the woods and have a hearty tete-a-tete.

5) Try a quick romantic getaway, a day trip to a destination within reasonable travel distance and watch the magic unfold.

6) If nothing else, have a long pillow fight.

7) Dress up and go to the nearest coffee shop. Share a chocolate shake with two straws.

8) Jest drive a Mercedes and weave a lot of dreams together.

9) Slather paint around or just tour a local art gallery.

10) Dress alike on the weekend or simply walk through the well-lit streets, gardens and amusement parks with your hands in each other's back pockets.

Dressing for Valentine Day: Get that V-day Look Right

Dressing up for your valentine can be a tough ask. But do not fret as Love-Lectures.com gives you a low down on what to wear and what to avoid, to achieve that perfect Valentine look

As we usher in Valentine's 2007, the look still remains ethnic. Valentine colours like pastoral shades of sorrel, oatmeal, slate-blue red and charcoal can be used to best advantage in subtle checks and weaves for a homespun look. Knitwear can be bigger and chunkier with a clever use of appliques and embroidery.

Knickerbockers can kick start the Valentine month but the other interesting styles to look out for include pantaloons, bloomers and sleekly cut, cuffed pants and jackets.

You can also wear brilliantly trimmed skirts and shorts with boxy jackets. Blouses full of frills and furbelows with ruffled necklines and fluted sleeves that taper off from a puffy shoulder line teamed with knickerbockers are also in.

Textured materials such as tweeds, corduroy and suede will lend you that important look this Valentine's. You can also choose wool, with a surprising new look with a glittering, gold thread running through it. Emphasis will be given to low-waist dresses and skirts just touching the knee. Fabrics like chiffon with sparkling yarns, organdy, crushed velvet and embossed satin will highlight the short, body-clinging evening dresses.

In footwear, slim and streamlined shoes with tapered toes and elegant cone-shaped heels are in. The days of the cowboy boots are gone while the new style now is short, narrow boots made from the softest leather. Accessories will be the keynote of Valentine's Day dressing. Scarves, body sashes and elegant headgear will all blend beautifully with the Valentine's fashion. Keep jewellery to a minimum, just a single exquisite bracelet or an ornately sculptured brooch.

You may also be interested in these:

Top Valentine Day Gift Ideas

20 Unique Ways to Gift a Diamond

A peek into sex lives of the ultra-rich

Survey Of Millionaires Reveals Money Makes Gender Stereotypes Redundant

Washington: Ever wondered how your life would change if you suddenly became obscenely rich? For one, you'd have a better sex. That's the finding of a new report by market research and consulting company Prince & Associates, and private wealth expert Hannah Grove, Forbes.com reported on its website on Monday.

The survey conducted last year looked at the sexual views, behaviour and experiences of about 600 men and women, most of whom were married, an average age of 57 and with a net worth of $89 million.

The findings showed the majority, 63% of men and 84% of women, credited their wealth with helping them achieve a better sex life. In addition, 43% of men and 80% of women said they believe their money has let them lead more daring and exciting sex lives.

One-third of men and 72% of women are members of the mile-high club, having had sex while in flight; all had access to a private jet. And 54 % of men and 72% of women reported having had an extramarital affair.

Grove says the study indicates a sense money makes people feel more powerful and gives them a better quality of life. This, she says, results in better sex. "Part of having a better sex life is related to being able to surround yourself with people to help you do things in a professional capacity with assistants, but even at home with nannies and butlers," she says. "They take some of the stress and less glamourous things off your plate and free you up to do things you find personally fulfiling," Forbes quoted her as saying.

Patti Britton, a sexologist and author of The Art of Sex Coaching, says the findings aren't surprising because the respondents' extreme wealth means less struggling to feed and house themselves and more downtime and luxuries, such as spa weekends and lavish vacations-the perfect backdrop, some argue, for a robust sex life. "Maybe money takes away the suffering and dependency on time for making a living and let's one live a life with pleasure," the web site quoted Britton, president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counsellors and Therapists, as saying.

But if you're not pulling in the big or even medium bucks, don't despair. More money doesn't always equal bedroom fireworks.

Barnaby Barratt, a Santa Barbara-based sex therapist, says people shouldn't just assume that the wealthy generally have sex lives worthy of envy. Barratt says some studies have shown that people in upper-income brackets, earning more along the lines of $100,000 to $1 million a year, have high-stress professions-think stock brokers, attorneys or physicians.

HOTTER THAN HELL

Couples kiss at the annual 'Lovapalooza Valentine celebration' in Manila on Saturday. Around 6,124 couples kissed in an attempt to get into the record books for Most Couples kissing Simultaneously.

Eco style and the big, fat, green wedding

The 100% Recyclable Celebration Has Arrived In The West And It's There To Stay

New York: Kate Harrison's idea of a fairy tale wedding is like this: Gather 150 friends and relatives at an organic farm for a pre-wedding day of hikes and eco tours. Calculate the mileage guests will travel and offset their carbon dioxide emissions by donating to programs that plant trees or preserve rain forests. Use local and seasonal flowers for decorations, instead of burning up fuel transporting them. Design an organic autumnal menu. Find a vintage dress to avoid waste of a gown that will never be worn again.

"It's worth it to start your life together in line with your values," said Harrison, a student at Yale, who is to marry in October. "You don't want this event to come at the expense of the environment or workers in another country."

People in the wedding business say the "green" wedding has arrived, its appeal expanded to spur a mini-industry of stores and sites offering couples biodegradable plates made of sugar cane fibre and flowers grown according to sustainable farming practices. The quality and choice of products has so steadily improved that the green concept is spreading to other kinds of parties, allowing hosts to embrace the earth without sacrificing style.

"People are making decisions based on environmental concerns," said Gerald Prolman, founder of online organic florist Organic Bouquet. "Whether it's food, cotton or flowers, people are asking questions: How are farmworkers treated? Who produced the product? How is the environment affected in that process?"

Eric Fenster, owner of Back to Earth, an organic catering company, said when he started his business in 2001, his clients consisted exclusively of environmental groups. But the market has expanded to make weddings a third of his business.

And few events offer as many opportunities to say "I care" than a wedding, whose average cost is $25,000 to $30,000. Bridal magazines, too, have recognised the trend, and a new site, Portovert.com, made its appearance last month, catering to "eco-savvy brides and grooms."

Even the honeymoon can be green without roughing it. "You used to have to go camping," said Ted Ning, director of Lohas Journal, a guide for businesses serving the eco-conscious market. "Now you have these amazing luxurious spas in Africa or Fiji. You can look at different animals while getting a massage in a tree."

But can weddings really make a dent in global warming? Janet Larsen, the director of research at the Earth Policy Institute, an environmental research group in Washington, said that every little bit helps. "All the actions add up," she said. "Anything individuals can do to reduce their overall environmental footprint can make a difference."

Weddings are undoubtedly great fun, but it's the preparations that go into them that may drive one up the wall. Here are a few tips to make marriage preparations a real delight.

Online ads giving lost lovers a second chance

New York: Ever locked eyes with a stranger on a train or in a store, become quickly intrigued, and later regretted not even saying "hello."

In a fast-paced world growing ever faster online, the Web is replacing the newspaper personal ad as a place where people can act belatedly on that moment of magical chemistry - with some fleeting encounters even leading to marriage.

At social networking and advertising site Craigslist.org, a subsection called Missed Connections, is rapidly becoming a destination for second chance encounters, and its ads tell tales of infatuation, hope, frustration and love.

Craigslist's Chief Executive Jim Buckmaster said he had heard of several marriages forged through Missed Connections which was set up in 2000. Use of the site has surged in the past three years to 75,000 new postings a month from 18,000, with San Francisco the biggest market then New York.

"It is a long shot but hope springs eternal - and people seem to have a weakness for long shots," Buckmaster said.

Ads on the site read like this: "Birmingham girl with Stella Artois at Gristedes!!!! I do not know why I did not invite you to drink beers with me...! hope is not late, I would love to."

Or this: "Confused Brunette On The A Train This Morning: You came into my A train, but quickly turned around and exited. I wish you stayed." But in New York - a city crammed with eight million people - what are the chances that the stranger from across the train will log on to the site that day, find the post and respond?

Ask Mark Svartz. While standing in line for two hours to have a book signed by American writer Jonathan Safran Foer, Svartz, 27, chatted with the girl standing in front of him. They did not exchange even their names.

"The next morning I realized that it probably would have been smart to get a number," he said.

Like the 15 million other people in the US and Canada who use Craigslist.org each month, Svartz, an advertising executive from Manhattan, sometimes reads the Missed Connections posts for kicks. Now he had a reason to make the leap from voyeur to participant.

Board that love boat...

Looking for love? Waiting for the right one to come around? Then stop dreaming and start doing. We tell you how to get going...

Be adventurous

Stuck in the routine rut? Bust them out by taking a new hobby, a new sport, a new restaurant or a new makeover. Rekindle the spirit to try something new and go put yourself on the map where you'll get to meet new interesting people.

Pamper yourself

Take a drive to the nearest spa and pamper yourself silly. Get massages, eat better and sleep better. Looking for love often makes you overlook the fact that a healthier person will obviously make you a better mate.

Look around carefully

Maybe that someone special you are set to find, is already there in fron of your eyes. Then all you need to do is adjust your glasses and get a new perspective altogether.

Love is all you can give

Don't save up your love for that someone special, instead distribute it freely among everyone around you. It will surely give you a lot of love back in your life. Remember, what goes around, comes around.

Long Distance Relationships: Distance No Bar for Love Birds

For couples staying apart this Valentine's Day, it is a tough week indeed! Now, you know why lovers count their happiness in hours, minutes and seconds

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom. So said the Bard. And it holds true for today's couples too. Ask those who will be away from each other on this Valentine's Day. With the V-Day falling on a week day this year, many couples who are in a long distance relationship are feeling the heat, a bit too much. With the Gen Y becoming more and more conscious of having a well settled career before say settling down, many young men and women today are going out of the city to study or work, leaving their partners to do their own bit.

For some like Darryl Dimeck who is presently in Boston working with a software company, it was a well thought, conscious decision to move out. "My girlfriend is in New York pursuing her Management studies. We have been in a relationship for two years now. When an opportunity came for me to work, we gave it a serious thought as to how important are our careers for us and how the distance would affect our relationship. Thankfully, so far we have been doing pretty well."

With both the partners busy with their own circle of friends and not having to share everthing with each other does lend a sort of independence. But then you can't reach out to your partner anytime you feel like. You have to be mindful of the other's time and space. Hance, many feel that the fun and spontaneity of the union does get affected by the distance.

Junita Paul, working with an NGO in Florida, was in New Jersey for two years to work, leaving behind her boyfriend to concentrate on his studies. "There were problems. For instance, if I was working, I wouldn't attend his calls and vice versa. This led to differences. But I guess both of us managed to keep it going. We would plan our trips in such a way as to meet each other whenever possible."

The distance also has its ugly head. That of distrust. The loyalty of each partner is questionable. Junita's lawyer boyfriend Steve says, "There were communication gaps, no spontaneity in the relationship and of course we weren't meeting regularly. But we had to eliminate the distrust. I believe how much trust you can put into your partner is the key to a successful long distance relationship."

The pressures of long distance are very tough to cope up with. So sometimes it ends in heartbreak and sometimes in weddding bells. Says Fred Waters who bumped into his wife on phone, met her after a month, dated for another ten months living in different cities before finally proposing her, "We knew the relationship could become stale with no fun. But we always tried to keep the relationship alive with humour and surprises. We could crack jokes on phone, share the day's happenings, send surprise gifts or cards to each other. It did help."

Stephanie, currently in UK with her husband James lived apart for an year post marriage. With her being in Canada and him being in UK it was a 'high maintenenace relationship'. But the 'extra efforts put in for constant reassurance of one's presence in the other's life made the going little less tough' she says.

But not all is as comfortable as it seems. Apart from understanding and love you've got to be quiet lenient with your purse strings. Explains Martha, working as a consultant in California, "My relationship is a long distance one. My boyfriend is based in Montana. We have to keep shunting between California and Montana on weekends. And then to keep in constant touch, a lot of money goes into paying heavy telephone bills."

Now that surely hurts!

Distance does not spell the end of a relationship

Loving Your Long Distance Relationship by Stephen Blake is a Proven Step-By-Step Guide on how you can manage your Long Distance Relationships effectively.

After reading Loving Your Long Distance Relationship you'll be able to avoid potential relationship problems ... and realize how easy it is to stay together while you're apart from the one you love!

Forget Mr Right, women actually prefer Mr Medium

It has long been assumed that when women look for love then a large salary, a fast car and a high-flying job will make a gentleman more attractive. But scientists have found that women actually prefer a man of medium status rather than one who is a soaraway success.

This is because they think attractive successful men are "too good to be true" and the relationship won't last. They also fear such a man is more likely to be unfaithful and will lack the time and dedication to help raise children.

The new study looking at what women want from a long-term partner was conducted by researchers at the University of Central Lancashire. They took a series of photographs of 60 men in their twenties and asked students to on a physical attractiveness scale. Six from the good-looking group, six considered average and the same number judged unattractive were then selected.

Alongside each photograph was information on the man's age, what he was looking for in a partner, and a randomly chosen profession.

The 18 different occupations included highest status jobs such as architect and company director, medium status position such as teacher or travel agent and finally low status roles such as waiter, postman and gardener.

An example of the kind of "personal ad" that accompanied each photograph was: "Easy going architect, 25, good sense of humour into socialising would like to meet understanding girl for fun and friendship." Another read: "Amusing male, 25, teacher, outgoing, likes fun times, seeks down to earth girls for fun relationship." The psychologists took 186 female students with an average age of 23 and asked them to rate the attractiveness of each man as a long-term partner.

The study, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, found that purely on looks, the best-looking men were rated highest. But within this group, when socio-economic status was taken into account intriguing differences emerged. Those who were good looking and had a medium status job scored more highly than attractive men with more high-flying jobs. Meanwhile low-status males came out worst of all.

The researchers led by Simon Chu concluded: "While women might prefer men who score highly on both attractiveness and resource-holding potential, it remains possible that these men might be perceived as being too good to be true.

"In other words, a high level of physical attractiveness coupled with high status may be an especially attractive package to other women as well and men in this position may be more likely to pursue a mating rather than a parenting strategy."

He suggested another explanation could be that women, especially those who hope to have their own career, are also subconsciously considering how much time could devote to raising children. "While increasing status brings clear resource benefits, this may also bring a trade-off with the amount of child-rearing time that high status individuals have available," he said.

"It is likely that high-status individuals can afford less time to devote to childcare than individuals of lower status."

Single? Be Your Own Valentine

If you think you will be the only person without a concrete Valentine's Day agenda, then you are wrong, chances are that there will be many more who'll be without a date.

Dine with friends
Don't make any plans weeks in advance. Call your friends or classmates who are also single and plan to meet at a restaurant. This sure will be better than sitting at home and surfing dating websites.

Watch a movie
Neither do theatres shut down on Valentine's Day nor is your single status an issue. Go entertain yourself by watching a new flick and if you don't have company you can buy yourself a single ticket. Choose to enjoy your own company for a couple of hours.

Pamper yourself
Gift yourself a book or book yourself a massage. Show yourself a little love this Valentine's Day.

The other side
You'll be pleasantly surprised at all the other single people if you happen to visit your local bookstore or cafe. Cuddle up with a good book and a cup of coffee. Strike a conversation with people around and enjoy good company.

It's party time
Check your college campus for events on Valentine's Day. You can go enjoy parties and it'll be a good way to find good friends too.

Women put cells before sex: Poll

Mobile phones have invaded our personal spheres to an extent that women would be happy to give up sex than their phones.

A recent survey by Dial-a-Phone, a leading UK mobile phone retailer, revealed that 21st Century dating has indeed entered the mobile fast lane and nowhere more so than in the bedroom. When given the choice of being celibate for a month rather than giving up their mobile phone, almost a quarter of women said they would - compared to zero men.

Dial-a-Phone relationship expert Filc Everett comments: "For women, a month without sex would certainly be a punishment - but for some this outweighs the nightmare inconvenience of never having a mobile phone. However, if this was a decision for life - I'd predict that women would choose sex every time."

However, according to the online survey, both men and women are more than happy to bring the mobile into the bedroom - with 30% of men and 42.5% of women claiming they'd answer the phone during sex!

Flic Comments: "There's a time and a place for mobile phones! Turning them off occasionally or even switching them to silent will make your loved-one feel as though they have your attention. Never ever answer your phone during sex. People will leave a message or call back later if it's urgent." Many are using their mobile to take saucy snaps much too rude to get developed at the chemist. 4 in 5 have taken a personal pic of their partner on their mobile. Flic says: "Sending a flirty text or better still a sexy picture message in the middle of the day will surprise and delight your partner, they will begin to anticipate a night of passion ahead, it's a great way to keep a flagging sex life alive."

Singletons consider their mobile phone their most valuable dating weapon - arranging dates and getting to know prospective partners through SMSes to relay the success of the date during the event to their mates.

BEDROOM INVASION

IN LOVE WITH THE GADGET

- 30% of men and a staggering 42.5% of women would consider answering their phone during sex

- 24% of women would rather give up sex than their mobile phone for a month

- 4 in 5 people have used their picture phones to take intimate pictures of their partners

- Brits send on average of 12 texts before they go on a first date

- 11% of under 34s have been dumped by SMS

Relationships: Jealous, Huh?

If your partner's close association with a co-worker has left you feeling envious, here's how you can deal with it...

Trust your Partner

Every relationship should be based on trust. Trust is basically a mutual understanding between two partners. If there is no trust, it leads to jealousy.

Involve your Partner

If both are in different professions, there is some uncertainity. Try and involve your partner in what you do. Let him/her see the kind of work you do.

Be Open and Communicate

Maintain a certain amount of transparency in the relationship. If there is something important, talk to each other. Avoid hiding things from your partner. Be careful, however, for too much transparency can make a relationship monotonous and dry.

Face the Problem

If jealousy does creep in, don't avoid the topic discuss it with your partner. Ideally you should have a thorough discussion about the issue.

Check your Emotions

Jealousy is a healthy feeling. Everything about jealousy is not negative. You just need to accept that you are getting jealous and deal with it. It can make you a better person. A high amount of jealousy however could lead to destruction.

Simple, Easy To Follow Ideas That Help You Overcome Jealousy NOW!