Why Do We Have SEX?

The reasons for not engaging in sex include transmission of diseases, heart attack due to exertion, and many others. The reasons for engaging in sex are numerous. Among these are:

1. Sex helps boost the immune system. According to Dr Carl Charnetski of the Department of Psychology at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, people who reported one or two sexual "episodes" per week enjoyed higher levels of Immunoglobin A. This is an antibody that helps fight disease.

2. Sex helps boost longevity. In one, study cited by Dr Charnetski, men who had more orgasms over a 10 year period boosted their longevity compared with those who had fewer.

3. Sex helps fight depression. A study by Dr Gordon Gallup of the Department of Psychology at the State University of New York at Albany found that women who regularly engage in heterosexual sex in which they come in contact with semen were significantly less depressed than those women that did not. he causal relationship is unclear. Dr Gallup speculates that "possibly because when absorbed through the vagina, semen may have an effect on mood in women". However, Dr Gallup is quick to point out "Regardless of the findings, this study does not advocate that people abstain from using condoms. Protecting oneself from an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease is far more important."

4. Sex helps ward off cancer. In another study cited by Dr Charnetski, men who had more ejaculations over a 35 year period had 33 per cent less prostate cancer compared to those with fewer ejaculations.

5. Sex helps reduce stress. Numerous studies show that it does this through lowering anxiety levels, boosting relaxation,and aiding sleeping.

6. Sex helps coping with middle age. This is the inference drawn from research by Dr GA Bachmann at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in New Brunswick, New Jersey and published first in 1995 in the International Journal of Fertility and Menopausal Studies and continuing in The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2006.

7. Sex is good exercise. Exercise helps circulation, lowers cholesterol and releases helpful endorphins.

8. Sex results in a more youthful appearance. According to a study by Dr David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland and co-author of Superyoung (1999), men and women who reported having sex an average of four times per week looked approximately 10 years younger than they really were.

9. Sex helps in losing weight. Well, at least a little. One burns approximately four to five calories per minute or perhaps 300 calories per hour during sex (depending upon how, shall we say, "vigorous the sex is). About 7,000 to 8,000 excess calories must be burned to lose one kilogram of fat (3,500 to lose one pound). You do the calculations.

Why Don't You Love Me?

Falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back is not unusual. But it can be one of the most painful experiences you ever face. Being besotted with someone who doesn't feel the same way can really hurt. You may believe you've found 'the one' and but if that special one reveals that they don't feel the same way, it can be devastating.

According to experts, unreciprocated love hits grown-ups worst of all, since their choices are likely to be more mature. But, however old you are, the shock and pain of unrequited love can be almost unbearable. So what do you do with all that pain? How do you deal with accepting that you can't have the one who you were so certain was yours?

GRIEVE YOUR LOSS

First of all, allow yourself to grieve. You've lost something. Tell all your friends about it, confide in them. Take all the comfort you can get. Venting your sorrow can prevent you falling into a depression. This is not a secret that you need to be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with you. Things just didn't work out and you're sad about that. Look after yourself emotionally after the crash and you will recover.

LOOK TO THE FUTURE

As soon as you feel up to it, start thinking about the future. If you don't have things to look forward to, you'll probably end up looking back more than you should, which can result in bitterness. Also, spoil yourself a bit. Now more than ever you deserve flowers and gifts.

So indulge yourself and spend a bit on the things that make you feel good. Rejection often makes you feel as if you are worthless and these little treats won't take the pain away, but they will make you feel that you are worth it. They will make you happy so indulge in happiness not sorrows.

Women are more choosy about partners than men

Women have fought for equality for as long as I can remember. But while they've achieved it in most parts of their lives, it seems there is one area where men and women are not equal at all. A recent survey of modern relationships, to mark the 60th anniversary of 'Woman's Hour,' revealed that while most men are happy to settle down with a woman who is simply "good enough", the majority of women are still looking for Mr Right, a kind of fantasy dream man against whom every other suitor will be ruthlessly judged - and probably found wanting.

The result, of course, is that most, blokes come up short and are despatched to the scrap heap, while the woman in question continues her relentless - and usually unsuccessful - search for the perfect man. So why are modern women so downright fussy in love?

Personally, I think there are two major factors at play here. The first is to do with money, and specifically this generation of women's ability to earn it like never before.

The second is the flipside of the female psyche from the one that forges a career - the part which, fuelled by romantic books and films, retains an ideal of a Mr Right which may simply not exist. There was a time, of course, when a woman didn't have much opportunity to make a choice about her man at all. Her father would scrutinise any prospective suitor, satisfy himself and give his daughter in marriage.

But now women are taught from their schooldays that they can be academic champions and worldbeaters, and rightly so; they are doing better than the boys at most things these days. The result is that women have more successful and diverse careers than ever before, and with that professional success comes financial independence. In a single generation, women have cast off the reliance they've had on men for centuries. I suspect far too many women today have entirely unrealistic expectations of what a marriage or a partnership can be. We're brought up as little girls on romantic notions of being swept off our feet by some Mills and Boon hero whose eyes will glisten with delight as we float down the aisle like Cinderella in a white confection and alluring veil. He'll install us in a trouble-free little love-nest with roses around the door. The children will be cute, biddable and always well behaved.

Perhaps the birds and small furry animals will arrive, as they did for Snow White, and whistle while they do the housework. It will unquestionably be happy ever after. But it's not. There were lots of things my mother said that I thought were nonsense, but with which I now concur. "A marriage", she used to tell me, "is something you have to work at. It's not just about romance and having fun. It's a contract, and you have to fulfil your part of the bargain.

Do Women Say Yes to Sex for Love?

Did that catch your attention? Good. It's time for a little debate regarding relationship priorities for men and women.

If it's true that women give sex in order to get love (romance and intimacy), and men give love (romance and intimacy) in order to get sex, then men and women might view adultery differently.

For example, if a woman considers the emotional intimacy of love to be the most important aspect of a relationship, she might be quicker to forgive her husband for having casual sex with multiple partners than she would be to forgive a long-term emotional attachment to another woman.

A man might not understand that his wife may feel exceptionally threatened by his "just friends" relationship with another woman, particularly if he excludes her from the friendship. For many women, emotional affairs can perhaps be the most devastating because the intimacy they crave for is being given to someone else.

If a man considers sex to be the ultimate expression of love, he might forgive his wife for having an emotional - but not sexual relationship with another man not realising that the emotional affair is a bigger danger to the security of his marriage. He might not be able to forgive sexual activity, casual or otherwise, even if she continues to satisfy his sexual needs during her affair.

Any type of intimacy - sexual or emotional - given to someone outside of the marriage takes away from the marital partner. Understanding how each views sex and love can be a big step toward keeping intimacy (and love) at home where it belongs.