A Relationship blog which brings you the latest news, hot gossip and astonishing facts on love, dating, sex, marriage and relationship from all around the world!
1. Frequently offering unsolicited advice.
2. Changing track every 10 seconds during a conversation!
3. Expecting him to react like a woman!
4. Trying to change him!
If you are not satisfied with the list above, here is an excellent article highlighting the Things that Women do that Annoy Men
People in stressful jobs show a rise in their average blood pressure over one year if they have a poor relationship with their spouse, a new study shows. Conversely, people experiencing job strain who have good marital relationships saw their blood pressure fall by the same amount.
"People with both high job strain and low marital cohesion may benefit from having their blood pressure regularly assessed," Sheldon W Tobe and colleagues from the University of Toronto write in the American Journal of Hypertension. Tobe conducted the study to examine whether job factors and marriage qUality both of which have been shown, separately, to influence health - might interact to affect blood pressure.
They followed 229 men and women for one year, all of whom were living with a spouse or partner and were free from hypertension at the study's outset. Tobe and his team looked specifically at couples' "marital cohesion", or how much couples support one another. Study participants wore ambulatory monitors that checked their blood pressure throughout the course of a typical working day, at the study's outset and again one year later.
Individuals reporting high levels of job strain who had low marital cohesion had a 3-point increase in their systolic blood pressure, the top number in a blood pressure reading. On the contrary, those with very cohesive marriages and experiencing job strain had a 3-point drop in their systolic blood pressure. When the researchers looked at men and women separately, the relationship among stress, blood pressure and marital cohesion remained strong for women, but it disappeared for men, suggesting the effect may be gender-specific.
Although women are generally less visually oriented than men in bed, you'd be amazed how arousing it can be to see every inch of your husband's flesh, says Ducky Doolittle, author of Sex With The Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered
Men need to be able to give and receive tenderness as freely as women. We're always concerned about how a man should show love or romance a woman, that we often overlook how a woman should show love or romance a man.
For romance:
1. Fix his favourite meal
2. Rent a video HE likes
3. Give him flowers (he won't expect that)
To show love:
1. When you know he's upset, and he doesn't want to talk about it, come up behind him and without saying anything, give him a hug and just hold him.
2. When he's feeling self-doubt (we all do!), kiss his brow and tell him he's the most important thing in your life, and you'll be by his side forever.
3. When a man 'truly' loves, that love runs deep. Don't abuse his feelings. When you hurt a man, that hurt runs deep, too.
4. Cherish the tender side of your man. You'll have a loving relationship that will last a lifetime.
Here are the five romantic things to do for your man (Things he will simply love)
A park where passionate couples can ramp freely has been set up recently in Italy. Many young couples in Italy find it hard to intimate as high price forces them to live with their parents for longer.
Entrepreneur Giuseppe Foggetti is behind the park, in the Southern part towards Bary, where couples pay £2 to go and another £1 for every half-an-hour they stay.
"My idea was to create a place for those that want to spend intimate moments together without thinking whether someone would be shocked if they saw it. I intend to offer security and privacy," Mr Foggetti, told press reporters recently.
More American women are living without a husband than with one. In 2005, 51 per cent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 per cent in 1950 and 49 per cent in 2000.
Coupled with the fact that in 2005, married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways the government and employers distribute benefits. At one end of the age spectrum, women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners more often and for longer periods. At the other end, women are living longer as widows and, after a divorce, are more likely than men to delay remarriage, sometimes delighting in their new-found freedom. In addition, marriage rates among black women remain low. Only about 30 per cent of black women are living with a spouse, compared with about 49 per cent of Hispanic women, 55 per cent of non-Hispanic White women and more than 60 per cent of Asian women.
"Most of these women will marry or have married. But on average, Americans now spend 50 per cent of their adult lives outside marriage," research team leader Dr (Ms) Stephaine Coontz, director of Public Education for the Council of Contemporary Families, told reporters recently.
When was the last time you told your buddy all? Or made a new friend who wasn't your colleague too? The answers most likely, will be 'can't remember'. For, as research tells us, friends and confidantes are now a species most rare...
Once you had friends with whom you shared everything. Then, you had colleagues who doubled up as your friends, for work left you with no time to meet friends. You shared all with them too... or almost. Maybe, sans the time you gossiped about them with other colleagues. Or when they got a promotion and you didn't. Then they were back to being colleagues. After that, you discovered the net, and it became your best friend. Only, a web profile is not the same thing as talking to a real person. And you can hardly call your net buddies at two in the morning afternoon you have drunk one too many, or after you found out your boyfriend was two-timing you. No, it just isn't the same. And no, you don't have the time to go out and make new friends.
If you thought this applied just to you, think again. People worldwide are facing the same problem. And now, sociologists also have data to back it up. According to research carried out at the Duke University in North Carolina, if 20 years ago there were 3.5 buddies to whom you could bare your heart, now the average is down to 2. And a quarter of those who were studied had nobody to call friends. And the loneliest are the 20-something men.
This news hardly comes as a surprise to Nicolas Corbin, a BPO exec. "But I always thought I was lonely because my job was such. How many of my college friends will party at 12 in the morning? So, I end up watching movies alone and hanging out with colleagues I barely like. I have no problem spending time alone, but it took me a few months to realise that it was all I had."
What happened to the new-age tenet that friends are the new family? Sociologist Marie Dotson explains, "People move for work or are too busy with their schedules to cultivate new relationships or work on the old. Internet and semi-detached colleagues have taken the place of friends and it takes a long time before it even registers that they have lost their friends. But in the long run, the loss of confidantes is sorely felt."
And the youngsters are well aware of it too. "There are always people at work with whom you can spend time. But you know the real crunch situations demand only friends. There is nobody I can say everything to, there just isn't," this form a 29-year-old successful banker!
According to GenX, trust is what their present batch of friends cannot earn. "I am the kind of person who talks and talks, but of late, I find myself doing that without really sharing anything. If I am with colleagues, I discuss office. If I am with my girlfriends, we discuss marriage. But take away these few topics, and there is nothing," rues Carrie White, a media professional. The friends, they just aren't there!
Master bedrooms are on the way out. Now, most homes don't have one. They have two. And they're known as "his and her realms". An increasing number of couples are insisting on separate bedrooms, according to US housebuilders. Couples and sociologists say that often it has nothing to do with sex. More likely, it has to do with snoring. Or with children crying. Or with getting up and heading for the gym at 5:30 in the morning.
In a survey by the National Association of Home Builders, builders and architects predicted that more than 60% of custom houses would have dual master bedrooms by 2015, according to Gopal Ahluwalia, vice-president of research at the association. Some say more than a quarter of their new projects already do.
This 'home-sleeping-alone' syndrome is not limited to the wealthy. According to the US' National Sleep Foundation, 75 % adults frequently either wake in the night or snore-and many have taken to separate beds just for those reasons. In a report issued Tuesday, the foundation found that more than half the women surveyed, ages 18 to 64, said they slept well only a few nights a week; 43% believed their lack of sleep interfered with the next day's activities.
Stephanie Coontz, director of public education for the Council of Contemporary Families in Chicago, said many couples she interviewed were "confident enough that they have a.nice marriage, but they don't particularly like sleeping in the same room. I don't think it says anything about their sex lives."
The move to separate sleeping spaces is yet another manifestation of changing marital patterns. "Couples today are writing their own script, rewriting how to have a marriage," said Pamela Smock, a University of Michigan sociologist. "The need for separate bedrooms also represents the speed-up of family life-women's roles have changed-and the need for extra space eases the strain on the relationship. It's nothing to do with social class, and it's not necessarily indicative of marital discord."
Nevertheless, Smock said husbands were less willing to change familiar patterns. "Men are supposed to be one, dominant, and two, sexual," she said. "Their wives might be thrilled to have their own bedroom, and see it as a romantic thinggoing back to their romance, going back to dating, to intimacy, but the husband might not see it that way." "As a social pattern, this could increase," she continued. "A lot of people I know fantasize about living in the same apartment building as their husband but in a separate apartment. That could be next."
'With Spouse Hand-Holding, You Also Stop Looking For Other Signs Of Danger And Feel More Secure'
On a brisk autumn afternoon, in the shadow of the marble arch in Washington Square Park, a couple visiting from Ohio walked along holding hands like two teenagers going steady, decades after "going steady" went out of vogue. When a stranger asked why they had chosen to join hands during their stroll, the man, Dave Findlay, looked at his wife of seven years and answered in a word: "Connection."
Or as the Beatles sang back in 1963: "When I'll feel that something, I want to hold your hand." Those simple lyrics turned an expression of teenage longing and first romantic steps into a No.1 hit.
Yet today, when Justin Timberlake is at the top of the charts with 'SexyBack' and the digital airwaves are filled with steamy lyrical declarations ("I'm into havin' sex, I ain't into makin' love" sang 50 Cent in 'In da Club'), couples like Dave and Carey Findlay still intertwine fingers, kiss palms and link pinkies as they meander through parks, cross streets and snake through crowds.
"Hand-holding is the one aspect that's not been affected by the sexual revolution," said Dalton Conley, a professor and chairman of the department of sociology at New York University.
"It's less about sex than about a public demonstration about coupledom."
"Based on what we've seen, when we get more physical intimacy we get better relationships, whether a mother and an infant or a couple," said Tiffany Field, the director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine.
James Coan, an assistant professor of psychology and the neuroscience graduate program at the University of Virginia, has studied the impact of human touch, particularly how it affects the neural response to threatening situations, and said the results of a recent study were more dramatic than he expected.
"We found that holding the hand of really anyone, it made your brain work a little less hard in coping," Dr Coan said, adding that any sort of hand-holding relaxes the body.
The study, which will be published this year in the journal Psychological Science, involved 16 couples who were rated happily married based on the answers in a detailed questionnaire. The wives were put inside an MRI machine and were told they were to receive mild electric shocks to an ankle. Brain images showed that regions of the women's brains that had been activated in anticipation of pain and that were associated with negative emotions decreased when their husbands reached into the machine.
"With spouse hand-holding, you also stop looking for other signs of danger and you start feeling more secure," said Dr Coan, who led the study.
"If you're in a really strong relationship, you may be protected against pain and stress hormones that may have a damaging effect on your immune system." Perhaps it is why so many people crave it.
Texting and Instant messages may have done away with old fashioned forms of courtship, but a new workshop on dating has revealed that if a woman wants to keep a man's attention, playing hard to get and restoring to love letters may be the best bet, for sms' could sabotage the chances of finding love.
If you thought that female bonding is ephemeral, often suffering from bouts of jealousy, backstabbing and nasty catfights, think again, for a new research has revealed that women tend to form deep and lasting friendships while men are more likely to make fickle friends over a pint or game of squash.
The research suggests that people are more likely to socialise with their own gender. Members of the fairer sex make "deeper and more moral" friends and then stick with them through thick and thin.
By contrast, sociologists from the University of Manchester found that men tend to be more calculating about who they befriend, and are likely to base these relationships on social drinking.
The four-year study tracked the lives of 11,000 men and women between 1992 and 2002. Each of those taking part in the British Household Panel Surveys regularly filled in questionnaires about the state of their friendships. Gindo Tampubolon, from the University's School of Social Sciences, said his team had wanted to learn whether the nature of friendship had changed in recent years as technology had advanced.
One of his conclusions is that, in general, it has not. Indeed in some situations mobile phones and computers had actually enhanced friendships.
Here are the 10 Commandments of Friendship
A great way to up sexual desire for women, according to a study, it was found that 85 per cent of the women who read romance novels became turned on. So, if 'time' is your problem to have a literary turn-on, swap duties with your husband for some nights, citing the benefits in detail. He's sure to be more than happy with the 'progress' that is to come later.
Here are some tips and ideas to sex up your love life today!
Not only does playing hard-to-get work, if done correctly, it can help kick-start a relationship. The fact is that men like the thrill of the chase and want what they can't have all the time. It's part of how they're programmed. So, if you act somewhat interested, yet slightly unavailable, they will lap it up like kittens. The key, however, is to balance the chase with a bit of encouragement.
If you sense that your flirtatious snubs and indecision are frustrating him, then give in just a little. This may seem like an antiquated scenario, but the truth is that men like chasing after you as much as you like being pursued. Give your new man the right bait and he'll jump through hoops to get it. Just be sure he knows there's a smart woman somewhere within you.
Playing Hard to Get
Does breaking up with your boyfriend, signal the end of knowing his friends? Actually, it shouldn't
You are at your favourite coffee joint, when you spot the familiar faces, and freeze. It's them! The only identity of that bond now remains as 'Oh gosh, they are my ex's pals!"
Not a race...
Your instant reaction would probably be to put on your sneakers, and just run! Rest assured, it will only make things worse. Stay put. And smile. That's the least you can do. Remember it's him, and not his friends, that you dated. For all you know, maybe they aren't friends anymore!
Friend in need...
Life is a circle, and you never know who might be of help on a precarious turn. Says Amber Khan, 25, media professional, "My boyfriend's friends are well connected in the industry. After we broke up, I lost my job and my apartment too. Life took a complete nosedive and I didn't know who to turn for help." Aid came to her from her ex's buddies, in fact. "I didn't let my break-up affect my equation with them. And today, they are more my friends than his," she smiles.
Tracking em' down...
If you want to find out about his whereabouts, they are the best source. And in case statements like 'I need space', I have a boys' night out' were common in the relationship, his friends are your weapons to find out if he ever cheated on you. Confesses, Anahita Modi, 23, "My boyfriend was not interested in a girl at work. This information came from his friend during one of our "let's catch up meets'! That really helped me to move on."
Win them over...
What a sweet revenge, if your ex's friends go out of their way to vouch for you! It will sure make him change colours. And, you never know, he may just come running back to you!
Two to tango?
Now the most obvious reason: His best buddy! Naomi Matthew, 29, during her whirlwind romance, always felt more connected to her boyfriend's best friend. "After our break-up, he (her ex's friend) became my pillar of strength. When I started falling for him, I was skeptical if it was a rebound. But I gave it a shot, and after five years, we said 'I do'", she says.
WORDS OF CAUTION
- If your relationship was very serious, and just one step short of the altar, keeping in touch with your ex's friends may make it difficult to move on.
- High risk of a rebound relationship. So, hold your horses before jumping into another disaster.
- Your current boyfriend may feel insecure about the strong ties with your past.
Millions of high flying executives are risking divorce as the long hours they work play havoc on their sex lives, a new study has found. Ambitious professionals are sacrificing theit personal lives and ignoring their children because of a new phenomenon - "the extreme job".
Research, published by the Harvard Business Review, identifies this new type of worker who regards a 10-hour day at work as part-time. It is "wreaking havoc on private lives and taking a toll on health and well-being", the research warns. The research estimates 45% of high-earning people working for large global companies have "extreme jobs" despite the ferociously tough qualifications.
For starters, an extreme job involves working at least 60 hours a week, although many work 100 hours or more. Holidays are a rarity. Nearly half take 10 or fewer days' holiday every year, and "regularly" cancel time-off if something comes up at work. In fact, work is so important that people with "extreme jobs" have made sacrifices which would shock anybody who is not a workaholic. The wife of one "extreme worker" said: "The first year we were married, we had to rearrange my grandmother's funeral so that he wouldn't miss a meeting." The biggest losers are the spouses and young families of workers with extreme jobs. Nearly half of men and women who took part in the internatinonal research project said their jobs "interfere with having a strong relationship with my partner."
In a shocking admission, it warns: "At the end of a 12-hour or longer day at work, 45% of all respondents in our global companies survey are too tired to say anything at all to their spouses or partners." The same number said their jobs, which involves regular travel and evening entertainment, make it "impossible" to have a "satisfying sex life." The results were equally worrying when the workers were asked about the impact that their jobs have on their children. They were asked:
"Has your child ever experienced any of the following because of the number of house you work?" All parents admitted their long working house mean their children regularly watch too much television, eat too much junk food and have discipline problems.
In a surprising twist, the research concludes that people with "extreme jobs" do not hate their work. They love it. They do not feel exploited they feel exalted.
Falling in love with the person who helps you get over a break up is easy, but it might not be a smart thing to do
You don't need love at any other time as much as you do when you've just lost it. It's easy to get into a relationship on the rebound, when you're broken hearted and vulnerable after a break up. And it's even easier to get into it with the person who's been giving you a shoulder to cry on. It seems like she/he understands and knows exactly what you need.
But there are many issues that creep in - the baggage from your past relationship, lingering doubts over whether you're really over it or just distracting yourself from it with another one, and the longevity of a relationship forged almost purely out of sympathy. Is it a good idea to get involved with the person who's been helping you with the break up?
"Maybe," says Angela Dickens, 24. "But only if you know he's really interested. You need to be careful. There are bound to be comparisons between him and your ex, and it's not fair to do that to the guy. You'll eventually realise that this is not what you're looking for. You might need more time to get over the guy you've just broken up with." Software Engineeer Steve Dimeck is of the same school of thought. "You're in a fragile state when you've just broken up with." You feel like that person understands you, but it's just a shoulder to cry on. What you'd be doing if you got involved is using that person - mistaking sympathy for understanding."
But Angela also has another take on the issue. "When guys see you vulnerable, they're apt to try and take advantage of you,' she says. International sales consultant Henry Adams, 27, puts it a little more bluntly. "I try to protect female friends nursing a break up from both other guys and myself. Girls are very vulnerable at that point of time, and guys just try to get some sympathy sex," he says.
But why is it that girls find themselves in this situation more often, getting attracted to sympathetic guys after a break up? "Look, guys do get over it more quickly. I've seen female friends take it much harder, nursing it for months afterwards," says Henry.
And there are things you can do to guard against it. "Go away from the scene of the breakup," says Stephanie. "Travel, if possible, but don't visit the same places. Stay away from your common circle of friends for a while, and most importantly, mingle with more than one person. Try to make sure you make friends with both guys and girls."
If you really want your first date to be a success, and would like to keep the hot dude interested in you, you know there are many things that you must do. But have you given a thought to what you must NOT do, just so that you don't scare away your man? Here are a few never-dos while dating a man...
How do men deal with the situation where their partners are more successful than them?
A recent study by british researchers suggests that the higher a woman's IQ, the less chance she has to marry. Does that mean that women who are achievers are less desirable? What happens when the woman is more successful than the man? Is it tough for the man to adjust to the adulation that the woman receives and he doesn't? The answer is a resounding 'No', with the people emphasising that they are happy being cheerleaders for their successful partners.
The IQ Factor
Gone are the days when men preferred a woman who just listened adoringly. Today's successful man wants a woman who is his equal, and even, better than him! Says Andrew Jones, a manager at a software firm, "If a person is intelligent and confident himself, why should it matter whether his partner is also bright and successful? My girlfriend was always doing better than me in college, and very successful in her career. That makes me feel proud, not threatened." Similary for Honours student William Johnston, "A successful girlfriend means that I have good taste! Seriously my girlfriend is always established as an advertising executive while I am still studying. Actually that gives me the freedom to pursue my passion and not worry about providing for her."
Forget the ego
Sharing the limelight when it is shining bright for your woman can cause ego hassles. But, that is when the man needs to realise that it's more important to be happy for your partner. Actor David Miller reminisces, "There was a phase when I was not getting any work. My wife, Maria was busy with her modelling and doing quite well. I was taking care of the housework while she was the breadwinner. It could have ruined our relationship if I had let go problems creep in. But, we discussed our options and realised that it was the best time for me to try out as an actor and not worry about who is earning the money." Adds market consultant Alan Duckworth, "Earlier, men felt that they had to show their superiority. But these days, it's only men with low self-esteem who worry if their partner is more successful, it's a chance for the man to learn and improve."
Old is not gold
The older generation still feels that it's a man's world. Says Steven Baker, a bank executive, "When my wife wanted to set up her own business, the elders in the family raised a lot of objections." He continues, "My wife is now highly successful and who cares where the money or fame comes from? It is there for both of us, that's what is important. We hope that our elders will come around to our view eventually as well."
Hit a sexual slump? Don’t worry, it happens. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, per se; it just means that you probably need to work on spicing things up in your bedroom.
Most women need more than a ‘wham-bam-thankyou-maam’ approach to sex. They need excitement, passion, heat, and kink? Some women, however, may be unsure how to approach the subject, simply because nice girls aren’t supposed to like whips and chains. But you’d be surprised how many of them actually do. Next time the two of you are lying in bed and you’re contemplating whether or not to fake a headache, try asking her if she might like something different. Here are some kinky things your girl might be fantasizing about, but is too shy to tell you.
Tough love
Is she a control freak? Then maybe she’d like to try a little S&M. This is a practice by which you become submissive and let her boss you around with a few props, such as whips and handcuffs. You may wonder; ‘what’s in it for me?’ Well. You get to help her live out a lifelong fantasy, and you make her feel happy and secure in your relationship in the process. Plus, you get to see her in a hot leather outfit.
Gadgets and gizmos
Sex toys are a fun and exciting way to put some heat back in the bedroom. You can take baby steps and begin with heated and flavored massage oils. Once you’re both feeling a little more adventurous, you can use the toys on her, let her use them on you, take turns, or find a way to use them on each other at the same time.
Be experimental
Some couples are yet to venture into unknown territories, and some women might be a little too shy when it comes to suggesting it. Movies and Internet are a good way to find out about things you have never even thought of. They can spice up your life.
Curtain call
If you dabbed in theatre in high school, you now have the chance to star in your own show. Role-playing might be on her must try list of kinky fantasies. Map out interesting scenarios or pick real- life sexy couples to model yourself after, then grab some fun costumes and let your imaginations guide you. You might feel a little silly at first, but after a few rehearsals, you’ll probably start to like it.
Shall we dance?
It’s no secret that most guys would love to see their significant other do a private sexy dance for them. And by the way, why not surprise her with a sexy little dance of your own? Throw on one of her favorite songs, and just go for it. Feel free to do a little practice dance in front of the mirror when you’re alone. And don’t worry about making a fool of yourself – she’s likely to be so touched that you went throw the trouble that she won’t even notice your two left feet. Perhaps, you might not expect, but she will enjoy this small dance session more than anything else.
Tips to make your woman feel special in the morning
He starts to save, and even wants to meet your dad! Find out if your man is ready to propose...
If you've been grinding your teeth at your commitment-phobic boyfriend, here's some relief. There are tell tale signs men display when they start to 'feel funny', which basically means they're beginning to feel like they should pop the question.
1) Listen to him. That doesn't mean you have to be any more attentive after spending most of your dates as his audience, but what he's saying could give you a hint. If he's saying 'we' instead of 'me', he's unconsciously beginning to incorporate the two of you into his life and future plans.
2) Pay a little more attention to his social life. You might find he's cancelling dates with friends, or regular all-boys sessions, to be with you. When he starts to forget he has a lonely stag status to keep up, he's turning into a happy domestic animal.
3) If he's suddenly beginning to insist you settle for idli sambhar or chaat instead of the usual posh coffee bar he used to take you, tell your parents about him. If the thriftness is not the result of mere bankruptcy, he's saving. And if he's saying, then he has something to save for on his mind-marriage.
4) Some men, however, take a long time before they think of that, and accumulate memorabilia from many girlfriends into the bin, you can be sure he's getting ready to make space for your stuff.
5) And then those surefire signs you're heading for a holy matrimony - he wants to meet your parents, or he's stealing one of your rings, or both. He might have asked your best friend to be his partner in crime if he needs one of your rings for the size. And he might slyly have suggested that he's not afraid of your dad - that probably means he's stopped imagining a revolver in his hand, and is ready to ask for yours.
The RoMANtic's Guide to Popping the Question, a virtual encyclopedia for marriage proposals.
MillionaireMatch.com - the best dating site for sexy, successful singles!
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