The Secret To Happiness

The key to a happy relationship could be accepting that some miserable times are unavoidable.

Researchers from California State University, North Ridge and Virginia Tech said that accepting these problems is better than striving for perfection. And they blame cultural fairy tales and modern love stories for perpetuating the myth that enjoying a perfect relationship is possible.

"It's a myth that, with enough effort, we can achieve a state without suffering. Healthcare professionals may not helping the situation. The field of mental health perpetuates this myth with the very concept of mental health, which implies a state without suffering. It was important to explore what people mean by a happy and healthy relationship because nobody's life or relationship can be in a permanent state of happiness - there will always be more difficult times," said research team leader Dr (Ms) Diane Gehart, a professor at the university.

But this belief can eventually cause people to believe that with enough effort they can eliminate suffering. There is an unrealistic aim in relationships, and striving to achieve it can lead people to feel they have failed. "Couples need to build strengths, such as understanding in their relationships to help them cope in these hard times and appreciate the good times," Ms Gehart said.