Where Should You Draw The Line?

Gossip sessions are a healthy way to let off steam. But don't let it turn nasty

There's a fine line between sharing a good, honest gossipy moan and being cruel. Bitching can serve a useful function in cutting down oversized egos or keeping bores in check, but if it's sustained over a period of time or continually directed at one person it turns swiftly into bullying.

It might be a useful way to level the playing field when you're feeling threatened (competition among women is a classic trigger), undermined (if your boss passes you over for promotion - again!) or just plain old bored (nothing like a good old slag-fest to lift the colour of the day), but it's a far from one-size-fits-all activity.

Family members, for example, get away with much crueller and more barbed comments than many others because the strength of the familial bond - the knowledge that you'll ready be there for one another when the chips are down - balances it out. The smae principle works with really close friends, the best of whom you'll be able to volley gently barbed comments.

However, when it comes to slagging off strangers, ganging up one person, or pointedly attacking those you know are weaker than yourself, you're no longer bitching. You're simply being nasty.