SMSing can mar women's hunt for love

Texting and Instant messages may have done away with old fashioned forms of courtship, but a new workshop on dating has revealed that if a woman wants to keep a man's attention, playing hard to get and restoring to love letters may be the best bet, for sms' could sabotage the chances of finding love.

Relationships advice columnist Cindy Pan and radio personality Bianca Dye drew on their experiences to write their guide to love and the modern girl in How to Play Hard to Get: How to Catch and Keep Mr Right, Not Mr Right Now. Dye says the nature of instant communication has created a whole host of problems, one of them being chronic insecurity. "I knew I didn't have to text him straight away after a date, but what did I do? Text him. Then I would stress. Does he like me or not?" Dye said.

The immediacy of SMS and email can also make us look overly keen - a guaranteed turn-off for blokes.

"The old adage of "Keep 'em keen, treat 'em mean" has changed with the times, but the principle remains. It's not that old-fashioned idea... acting aloof, being an ice-princess or a diva, because that's actually hard work," Pan said. "It's about being hard to get, having some self-respect, and not giving everything away at once. Women need to value themselves and command respect from others.