Long Distance Relationships: Distance No Bar for Love Birds

For couples staying apart this Valentine's Day, it is a tough week indeed! Now, you know why lovers count their happiness in hours, minutes and seconds

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom. So said the Bard. And it holds true for today's couples too. Ask those who will be away from each other on this Valentine's Day. With the V-Day falling on a week day this year, many couples who are in a long distance relationship are feeling the heat, a bit too much. With the Gen Y becoming more and more conscious of having a well settled career before say settling down, many young men and women today are going out of the city to study or work, leaving their partners to do their own bit.

For some like Darryl Dimeck who is presently in Boston working with a software company, it was a well thought, conscious decision to move out. "My girlfriend is in New York pursuing her Management studies. We have been in a relationship for two years now. When an opportunity came for me to work, we gave it a serious thought as to how important are our careers for us and how the distance would affect our relationship. Thankfully, so far we have been doing pretty well."

With both the partners busy with their own circle of friends and not having to share everthing with each other does lend a sort of independence. But then you can't reach out to your partner anytime you feel like. You have to be mindful of the other's time and space. Hance, many feel that the fun and spontaneity of the union does get affected by the distance.

Junita Paul, working with an NGO in Florida, was in New Jersey for two years to work, leaving behind her boyfriend to concentrate on his studies. "There were problems. For instance, if I was working, I wouldn't attend his calls and vice versa. This led to differences. But I guess both of us managed to keep it going. We would plan our trips in such a way as to meet each other whenever possible."

The distance also has its ugly head. That of distrust. The loyalty of each partner is questionable. Junita's lawyer boyfriend Steve says, "There were communication gaps, no spontaneity in the relationship and of course we weren't meeting regularly. But we had to eliminate the distrust. I believe how much trust you can put into your partner is the key to a successful long distance relationship."

The pressures of long distance are very tough to cope up with. So sometimes it ends in heartbreak and sometimes in weddding bells. Says Fred Waters who bumped into his wife on phone, met her after a month, dated for another ten months living in different cities before finally proposing her, "We knew the relationship could become stale with no fun. But we always tried to keep the relationship alive with humour and surprises. We could crack jokes on phone, share the day's happenings, send surprise gifts or cards to each other. It did help."

Stephanie, currently in UK with her husband James lived apart for an year post marriage. With her being in Canada and him being in UK it was a 'high maintenenace relationship'. But the 'extra efforts put in for constant reassurance of one's presence in the other's life made the going little less tough' she says.

But not all is as comfortable as it seems. Apart from understanding and love you've got to be quiet lenient with your purse strings. Explains Martha, working as a consultant in California, "My relationship is a long distance one. My boyfriend is based in Montana. We have to keep shunting between California and Montana on weekends. And then to keep in constant touch, a lot of money goes into paying heavy telephone bills."

Now that surely hurts!

Distance does not spell the end of a relationship

Loving Your Long Distance Relationship by Stephen Blake is a Proven Step-By-Step Guide on how you can manage your Long Distance Relationships effectively.

After reading Loving Your Long Distance Relationship you'll be able to avoid potential relationship problems ... and realize how easy it is to stay together while you're apart from the one you love!