'Hear out my side too!'

The issues of generation gap and the susequent handling of a teenager has always created problems in almost every household. We find out if there is a way out or does the argument have to continue?

The relationship between parents and their teenage children has been one where clashes and differences in opinion are commonplace since time immemorial. The generation gap makes it difficult for both sides to appreciate each others' point of view.

Adolescence, the transitional period between youth and maturity, is the time when trouble starts brewing in the parent-kid relationship. Throughout life, many developmental changes take place. Parents need to adapt themselves to the situation. An adolescent goes through changes that are physical, emotional as well as social. They are trying to crave an identity for themselves.

Reena Jones, who is the mother of two teenage daughters says that she definitely feels the generation gap between her elder daughter, and herself. "Today's kids, want to move very fast. Freedom is the main issue of discussion between my elder daughter and me. She wants to go out every evening and have male friends. It's just not acceptable to me. I suggested that she meet a counsellor, but she does not want to do that either."

Amanda, who is 19 years old, says that clashes in opinion happen very regularly between them and that irks her. "Nowadays she even has problems with my going out with boys. I have been in co-educational institutions all along. Going out with friends is important for me. She doesn't even try to see things from my point of view."

Another parent, Wendy Scott, who has an 18-year-old daughter, says that at times, making her understand things is a difficult task. "It was difficult to explain to Lisa, my daughter, that she should not start doing summer jobs or work at call centres like her friends. We explained to her that this is the time for her to relax and spend her free time studying rather than to start working right away. But nothing seems to help."

How parents tackle their adolescent children thus become important here.

Parents shouldn't be too pushy. They should give their children more space but at the same time should be involved in their activities.

But it's not just the parents who need to understand their children. Teenagers too have to put a step forward. They need to empathise with parents. They should be more objective and not have a negative bias towards their parents. An open communication between the two is the key to resolving all issues.

The familiar ego clashes and the verbal skirmishes will continue to spice up a parent and teenager relationship generation after generation. But perhaps if a little window of communication were opened in that dark room of egos, the light of understanding strengthen one of the most beautiful and caring relationships in the world.