Secret Love Affair - Things to Keep in Mind Before Going for a Clandestine Relationship

If the idea of having a secret relationship sends you reeling with excitement, here are some things you need to seriously take care of….

Pros and Cons of a Clandestine Love Affair

Many people love the idea of having a secret relationship and it gives them a sense of thrill. The more exuberating aspect of these relationships is not the romance feeling, but it is the fun and excitement of concealing it from everyone else. There exist many reasons for a person to have secret relationship like socio-religious barriers or even sometimes financial conditions. Revealing the relationship to others is probable to cause some troubles in their daily life or forced to break up this relationship.

These secret affairs usually begin with physical attraction and gradually transform into a strong emotional attachment. The couple can enjoy their relationship to the best extent as they don’t have any external factors affecting their bonding. But keeping up with this secret status turns out to be a cumbersome and exigent task and often leads to distress. If you are involved in any such affair, here are a few aspects to be taken care of...

Thoughts Restriction

Unlike normal romantic affairs, in secret affairs you cannot discuss your love life explicitly with your pals. Even on occasions, when you need their help to solve any dire complication with your partner, you are bound to shut your mouth and prevent yourself from seeking out their help. You are constantly obliged to lie to your family members about your time spent with your secret partner. This badly adds to your routine stress and leaves you frustrated.

Dissatisfaction

While on one hand secret relationships have benefits of secluded companionship with your partner, on the other they have the disadvantage of being unable to exhibit your affection and love in public or society. You always have to be ultra careful about mutual behavior in public amidst other close people. You always have to be on a look out if any mutual exchange of wink or mushy look was caught by others. This leaves the duo unsatisfied and sense of discontentment creeps up between them.

Future Decision

After a certain period of time, when the clandestine affair turns into a full-fledged romance, the inevitable question about commitment comes up. At this point of time, when you need counseling desperately from your friends or relatives, you are forced to reveal your affair to them. No-one ever makes decision regarding commitments in relationship without seeking advice from their kith and kin. Here you face the problem!

Be Practical

For many a secret affair is just another way of having spice in life. They take it as a way to have fun without any sort of seriousness regarding the harsh consequences they might have to face in the long run. Stop right now! Be honest with your partner and keep him aware of your true feelings without any pretence. Your frivolous attitude will leave someone hurt and distressed. The ill tides of this distress can even wash you away with them in its advance.

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My affair just ended up for just 1 1/2 years. Now I can't deal with the heartache of such a great loss. I believe we were discovered by his family and he got cold feet. My heart aches. I am married also. - Cindy C. - 2007-05-08

I'm in a secret affair we are both married and have children... Its been 4months since we started. I want to end it but, there at times when I just can't. - Mendy - 2007-07-05

i am very much interested in a man and he was honest with me when he said he was married i listen to his problems about his unhappyness and one thing lead to another. i felt which i told him he took it to the next level and he mad me so mad i yelled at him badly. real good but it was a misunderstanding and i think it is due to me being scared of intimacy and him being married. i really like him all my friends think its wrong and he is crazy and i am nuts. now him and i hardly speak i don;t know what to do and now i think he went on to someone else or he playing mind games just to make me go closer i need advice please (jankraseski@hotmail.com) - janice - 2011-07-19