Closeness in Open Relationships - Does It Works?

Absolute fidelity, or a relationship that tests the strength of your bond? What do the youngsters prefer when it comes to sharing their lives?

In this brave new World, with brave new mentalities, live-ins and open relationships aren't unheard of any more. Urban, educated, independent young people are experimenting with love lives that might not necessarily end in marriage, but open relationships throw up a rather thorny area for all couples. But couples in our culture also have to contend with an upbringing that often places a premium on marriage and absolute fidelity. Open relationships can, thus test the strength of your bond.

Is an open relationship closer?

Heartbreak often happens because we expect undying loyalty from partners and they are unable to keep that up. Some psychologists also say that we are biologically wired to be unfaithful because genetically, that gives us the chance to have the healthiest offspring. But open relationships work on the principle that each partner is free to see other people, and that takes care of the expectation of loyalty.

Often, that freedom from expectation might make partners want to stick with their chosen partner anyway. When no one is demanding that you be loyal, and when the relationship is completely free and voluntary, why would anyone want to stray, they think.

The stumbling blocks

But what couples often don't bargain for are absolutely normal relationship problems that are complicated in open relationships. Jealousy is one. You could find out that you're actually extremely jealous if your partner sees someone else, but you're honour-bound to keep your mouth shut and take it.

Another is the fear of abandonment. There is always the probability that your partner might find someone else they're seeing more attractive and likable, and end the relationship with you. Since it does not have the social pressure of marriage or the expectation of fidelity to hold it together, this fear is always magnified in open relationships.

Another, is the anxiety that your partner will be out with someone every so often while you're stuck with takeaway food and your dog because you're less attractive or just don't feel like seeing someone else.

It takes a lot of thinking and commitment to avoid such problems. An open relationship is an expression of your faith in your partner and a recognition of the fact that some people can be perfectly committed to you even if they're seeing other people, and they deserve the freedom to do that. It's a tricky area for the most mature couples, but if you both have your priorities clear and really love each other, you could make it work.

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