Male Midlife Crisis - Signs, Symptoms, Recovery, Help, Management

You are in a committed relationship, married for almost 2 decades now. You thought everything was glorious. Or, at least as glorious as it gets all relationships have some rough spots.

If he's between the ages of 40 and 60, your man is blazing a trail through male midlife - he's having a crisis. What you must keep in mind is that he really doesn't understand what he's doing, he isn't deliberately hurting you he just knows that something is wrong in his life and he's searching for the answers.

Signs and Symptoms of Midlife Crisis

How to know he is facing midlife crisis?

• It seems that you are always fighting
• He just doesn't act like himself anymore
• He doesn't like his job
• He wants to sell the house and get a little place in the mountains or sail to the islands
• He doesn't like being home
• He wants a sportier car
• He changes his hairstyle, starts a diet and joins the local gym
• He says you and he have grown apart
• He needs time to think about 'things'
• He loves you but he isn't in love with you
• He needs space
• He wants something but he doesn't know what

Men don't plan on turning unpredictable

It happens when they look in the mirror or in the eyes of their grandchildren and see themselves as old men. Some men feel that reaching 40s made them a better person.

They remain with their original wife and their relationship has been redefined to better meet his needs. Some traded the pressures of family, home and business, supporting himself by doing odd jobs.

The crisis

Male midlife crisis devours relationships. It may be devouring yours. What you must understand and believe is that no matter what you do, or don't do, the outcome will be the same. You don't have any control over him, but only yourself.

You may be part of the problem as he sees it. You don't understand, how could you? He may have met someone else who seems to understand him perfectly, or reaffirms his youthfulness. But how could anyone understand him when he doesn't understand himself? He will hurt you. He doesn't mean to hurt you, but he will hurt you.

He's getting older

His hair is thinning, his waist is thickening, his muscles are flabby and his face is wrinkling. He is feeling emotions he's never felt before. And occasionally he is impotent. It's just too much! He can't handle it. He doesn't want to be an old man. Sometimes referred to as 'male menopause,' male midlife crisis is not nice for any of the players involved.

Now what?

He is at a major turning point in his life, a normal part of the male maturing process that, should he be successful in navigating through the storms, will help him lead a fuller and more satisfying life, accepting the normal limitations inherent with the aging process.

You have to help him out

You need to be aware of what's happening to your man. Being aware will make you less apt to blame yourself for the things going wrong. He will be blaming you as it is, because he knows he's not at fault. There's not much you can do to speed up his passage through this crisis in your liVes. He probably doesn't want to talk about it, at least not to you. He may believe that you're the whole reason, he feels the way he does. But the fact is that it's not true.

You need to understand

Because it is his problem, it will have to be his solution. What he's going through is normal and you are not responsible. You can't change it or fix it because you didn't break it. Don't believe it if he says everything wrong in his life is because of you. And don't try to explain his feelings to him because you can't and he won't listen.

Recommended Reading

Men in Midlife Crisis
by Jim Conway

Jim Conway writes for all men who face midlife and have thought about walking away from family, work, church . . . all responsibilities, and never coming back. Of his own midlife crisis he says, "I feel like a vending machine. Someone pushes a button, and out comes an article. The family pushes buttons and out comes dollars. The community pushes other buttons...

How to Survive Your Husband's Midlife Crisis
by Gay Courter, Pat Gaudette

Guide for women whose husbands have entered a midlife crisis. Written by wives and experts on recognizing the symptoms; coping with the threat of infidelity; handling bad behavior, such as thrill-seeking, financial irresponsibility, or substance abuse; identifying underlying problems; deciding how or if to stick it out; and protecting your kids from the fallout.

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