How to Handle those Uncomfortable Questions About Your Past Lovers When Aroused by Your Current Partner?

There comes a certain time when all couples discuss about each other’s ex-lovers. The reason being, every one of us has a past, irrespective of how rosy or bad it may have been. Your partner’s sexual intimacy may be different from what he has achieved in past. There are always queries related to these issues on people’s mind.

How to Handle Tricky Questions about Ex-Lovers?

It is better to discuss these things then and there rather than moving the conversation to something of your choice. Talking about your past and your former relationships can be a tricky task. Read on for some tips towards handling those uneasy questions.

Think and then Talk

Suppose you are enjoying a cozy night with your lover and then suddenly turns around and asks: “How many lovers have you had? I want an honest answer.” It is not about honest answers for some men, they actually want to hear what they want. But this can be complicated. Going with experience, men may add 1 or 2 to their list while women may deduct the same number. Men have ego to blame while women have the society to blame for. If you are comfortable telling the exact number, nothing like it. As it is, your man wants to hear the truth.

You may know your partner inside out, but you cannot control his reaction on some things. Questions about ex-lovers are one of those situations. Also, knowing the total won’t be as pleasant as it appears.

Don’t Go Deeper

Did he ask for intimate details? No, so make sure you don’t reveal intimate details. If he asks, do not give out intimate details of your sexual relationships, even if your partner is your best friend. Just tell the basic stuff without elaborating things. Also look how interested your partner is when you share these things. Mention the number of lovers and talk about college life or something; don’t wait for more questions. Discussing your past is as sensitive as discussing religion, so less said is better.

Sexual Health

There is absolutely no need to disclose something from your past relationship which you are not comfortable with. Sex will remain important irrespective of the partners so information on safe sex and STDs should be discussed. You can expect the same from his side. Ultimately you may give your partner something which you would not like to. Getting tested is one way of being safe and it will also help to calm his nerves. Make sure you do not blow your privacy while discussing these things.

Reassurance

Discussing about past sexual encounters can actually raise uncomfortable issues in your current bonding. Your partner may feel like he is competing with your ex lovers. He may even feel insecure of your sexual intimacy in the past. Make sure you talk freely and assure him about your commitments to this relationship. Tell him how you feel about him but don’t talk in a manner which shows that you are desperate.

Work more on your current sexual bonding rather than giving more time to discuss earlier relationships. Once yours partner feels confident about the fact that you love him with all your heart, issues about your past relationships will eventually relinquish.

Recommended Reading: - 101 Reasons Why Men Stop Calling and What You Must Do About It by Elaine M.D

Many men want to know about women’s ex lovers. It is a complicated question and if you answer it the way he doesn’t want, you may be left wondering as to why has he stopped calling you? For answers to these type of questions related to men, read Elaine’s book which is nothing but a guide on what to say and how to avoid some situations.

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